Putri Kusayang

Prologue Part 3

I couldn't handle myself the next day, the sound of the helicopter carrying the victim's bodies, the echoing sounds of people crying, the burials of their family and friends, it was unbearable. After the burial of each people, I waited for everyone to leave and stared down at dad's grave.

Here lies:

Adityanto David Panuta

April 21, 1990 - September 25, 2013

An amazing father, a best friend,

and a great husband.

I place the white roses to dad's burial and sat next to his tomb,

"These flowers are your favorite, I hope you like them," I told my dad like he was still alive, listening while leaning on me,

"It's really rare these days to find the white ones, maybe everyone who died with you loves those flowers too, I wonder why they dislike the red ones so much?" I kept talking to my dad,

"And I wonder why did you leave me so soon too," it felt uneasy as if I skipped a heartbeat,

"We never talked much when you started working in Kalimantan, in fact, we stopped communicating at all in the past months" I stated,

"Why didn't you call us? Why didn't you just have time to chat with your family?" I began to be angry

I was so angry that I didn't notice I started crying,

"Dad, if you were really busy that time, I'm sorry that I was disturbing you, but please message us or anything, we were worried sick about you every day," I told him

"I'm all alone without you, I was never always cheerful and happy towards my friends and teachers like I did to you,"

"I lied, I lied because you were already a friend to me and I don't need anyone else but you,"

"They're fakes, people are fakes," I said,

"I tried making friends as you taught me, but no one seems to be convinced by me and even if they did, they'll probably ignore me or bully me later on"

"The teachers were nice though, but they didn't like the way I was introverted towards other people, they tried to make me talk with the others but the moment I laid eyes on them, the more I disliked them,"

"You must be disappointed at me, up there right now,"

"And so am I to you,"

"Don't think that as your daughter I don't have the right to be disappointed at you"

"There are multiple possibilities you are still alive and could come back home anytime soon, but death was not what I had in mind, it's really unlike of you to die this fast"

"I'm sorry for raising my voice, I hope you could forgive me, and I hope you will guide and watch over me while I'm still here,"

"But when I get older, I will find this mysterious murderer and solve this mystery of you and the other victims that had fallen to its death trap"

"For now, I must continue my studies at school, to not make you as disappointed as I am, I'll tell you all about it tomorrow"

"Goodbye, dad,"

I pat dad's tomb, then I prayed for him to be happy and in peace, wherever he is,

Present,

I took one big bite of the bread filled eggs and savored the flavors, damn how good it is to get back to cooking, I guess I'm not going to be rusty anytime soon.

After eating half of my breakfast, I sighed, remembering all about the things that happen throughout my life, why can't I have a better childhood?

I kept going to his grave every day from then on, it's just the fact that I missed him, we never communicated for three years that felt like a century, and I'm still doing it until this very day.

After his death, mom tried to communicate with me for once and minimize her time for work, I get to go to school as every normal kid would and got good grades. Dad must be proud of me now.

But still, I can't help but wonder how did it end up like this, my mom's sudden change, my dad's fate, all of this seems unreal to me.

"Putri...?" I heard a woman's voice,

I turned to see a middle-aged woman standing in front of me, she was half asleep and still wearing her nightgown,

"Oh! Mom, you're awake" I was surprised to see her,

"I made you breakfast"

I guided her to the table and made her sit down, I prepared her the eggs in the basket and an orange juice, she could barely keep her eyes open, she took one bite and was already amazed by my cooking that made her eyes wide open.

"Putri! This is delicious! You haven't changed a bit" mom shouted,

"Thanks, I guess I still got what it takes to cook" I blushed and shook my head,

"Your father was an amazing cook too, he must have taught you a lot when I was gone to work,"

When she talks about dad, I felt triggered and just wanted to cry again, mom noticed and she was fucked up about bringing up the topic,

"Putri, I'm sorry-"

I heard a slight honking noise outside our house, it must be the bus,

"It's fine, I'll be going now"

I kissed her hand and waved her goodbye, I walked to the bus's entrance, greet the driver, and take a seat. I didn't do much when I was still on the bus, but I remembered I kept looking at the window the whole way to school, it's how I reflect on everyday activities.