Heart Attack

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

Dick, he was there, standing before me. It wasn't like the day he was being scolded, it was just him, staring at the moon alone. I remember when I used to do that with him, both of us sometimes shared a kiss or a hug. He was warm but stiff with me. I like to believe he trusted me as much as I did to him. But, the sad thing is, I know he only liked me, never loved me.

I do not understand, I know he cannot see me, yet I'm here hiding behind a tree pot, watching him  I can feel myself shake, my breath taken away, why do I want to kiss him so badly after he treated me this way? Why do I still love him? Why does he make me afraid? Is this really toxic? Jason and Tim used to say so...but now I'm gone, I still feel something, but I also know it's wrong.

"Dick" I couldn't stop myself, I needed to talk to him, even if he doesn't listen. "Why did you do this to me? Ask for time, some distance, run to the arms of someone and then come back? Why would you not let me do the same? Why can't I ever be free? I...I still love you. I shouldn't but I do. Jason and Tim told me a thousand times, now I suffer from it. Why do you do this to me? Why can't I ever be free?!"

"Starfire..." he whispered. "I'm sorry"

"I don't want an apology!" I cried, stepping out from my hiding place and floating in front of his face, but, he didn't see me, he didn't hear me. "I want to know...I just want a why!? What did I do wrong!? Why did I deserve this!?"

"I wish I could bring you back...you have no idea how sorry I am. Please, wherever you are, come back, I'll leave her...I promise I still want you"

"That the mistake...I love you and you only want or like me...I LOVE YOU!" 

I heard a scream, my eyes opening and making me realize I wasn't in my dimension anymore. I know Dick couldn't hear me, it was sad, but right now, I had no time to spare. I zipped through the building opening the door to find Jaune wide awake, his breathing hollow. A panic attack? Was that what it was called? I sat right next to him and took him in my arms, stroking his hair.

"It's ok... it's ok...I promise, whatever it is, it won't hurt you here. I'm here...we are all here, your team and friends."

"She...o god...she just...she's gone" he cried, hugging me back. "Pyrrha Nikos...she sacrificed herself and I was useless....so useless she kissed me and locked me up in order to save me."

I understood, at least this was a memory, not a panic attack, I could handle it slightly better now. "She didn't think that"

"How would you know?!" he glared back at me, helpless through his tears.

"Because she loved you, she did it because her heart told her to. She believed this was her fight and wanted to protect you, even if you could handle yourself, if you were harmed in any way, she may have believed it would be in her hands. She would rather you be safe and prevent anything from happening than have you there with a small probability of you being in danger"

I only had assumed it, according to the tales that were told by his team about Pyrrha. But, this seemed to calm Jaune, his tears diminishing as he held me close. It was good, at least he was better now. He was the last one to see her, the one to suffer her death the most. Jaune had barely realized he loved her when he was kissed. I have watched him train with the videos she made especially for him. 

"Thank you Kori," he said letting go. 

"Of course, we should get to the kitchen before your team wakes up," I said getting up.

We both went downstairs talking about jokes to comfort each other, we had had a bad night, and it was time to relax, a time for fun. We got to work on our male, placing great care in the quantities.