Dog Tags

Chapter 63

Quinn's POV

"I didn't think it would be that soon." Is all Nick says as he finishes up on his meatballs, but I feel like Nick is holding back on what he is really thinking and feeling, "Before we get into the Brenton situation, I think we need to talk about the other night?"Nick sighs and nod his head, "I let my impulsiveness get the better of me again and I took everything out on you." Nick turns his back to me and towards the counter, "I regretted it the moment the red haze faded away." I get this feeling like Nick wants to say something to me but for some reason he is holding back.

"I need you to know Nick that I never wanted to hurt you or make you feel like you don't matter to me because you do matter to me, and I would never forgive myself if I ended up the reason that you went back to that dark place." Nick turns back around and I can see that he is almost done with the food which a good thing for me, "It wouldn't be your fault if I choose to go back to that place. I have my personal demons just like everyone else and sometimes it feels easier to give into them then you stand and fight them." I look at him thinking about what Etta told me about how I need to make the decision between Nick and Brenton, and the sooner the better.

"I can understand that Nick, and that part of the reason that I showed up tonight.To see if you really meant what you said or was it more anger." Nick looks at me and from the expression on his face I get the feeling that it was a little of both. "We are all set." Nick grabs the bowel of spaghetti noodles and the bowl of meatballs before walking through the doorway into the formal dining room just off to the side of the kitchen that gives you a cozy but romantic atmosphere. The room itself has two unique chandeliers, what looks like a handcrafted table, and eight dining chairs around the table,

"Please sit." Nick pulls out of the chairs for me as I sit down and he pushes me in,"Thank you." I say smiling at him before he wanders into the kitchen and grabs two wine glasses, two plates, and two sets of silverware. "I have to say that I am kind of surprised that your place is such good shape with your friends coming and going and the parties you must throw here." Nick sits down across from me shaking his head, "My friends crash here from time to time when they need too, but I have never had the kind of party you are thinking of here at my place." Nick places food on my plate and fills my glass with grape soda,

 "I know that you don't drink, but if you want something stronger I would be happy to get it for you." I shake my head seeing for the first-time Nick in host mode which to say is odd is an understatement. Nick and I dig into our food and the moment the meal touches my lips I feel like my stomach has taken a trip to heaven. "Nick this is by far the best spaghetti and meatballs that I have tasted." Nick smiles taking a bite from his plate.

We finish up what has been one of the best meals in my life and some pleasant conversation, now I am sitting on the counter in the kitchen drying dishes while Nick cleans them, "How excited are you about Brenton coming home?" I look at Nick wondering why he choose this moment to address the elephant in the room, "I can't tell you how excited I am, it felt like this day was never going to happen." That feeling of being torn rises in me and so does the feeling of confusion. "How do you feel about it?" I ask finishing drying a dish and put it down with the others, "I think I made my feelings about the situation very clear the other night." Nick isn't wrong but some of the stuff that Nick said I still haven't gotten off my mind. 

"What are you saying then, is when Brenton finally does come home then you and I aren't going to be friends anymore and treat each other like strangers?" Nick gives a look dark look handing me a dish, "I didn't say all of that and you know it." I dry the dish before hopping off the counter and grabbing Nick's hand making him look at me, "Did you mean it when you said that you can't befriends with me because you have true feelings for me?" Nick takes his hand out of mine and grabs a dish towel drying his hands off,

"What if I did? Would it really matter?" He asks thrown the dish towel onto the counter before walking out of the kitchen and into the open living room, "What if I told you that you were right about what you said." I say following him into the living room area just as Nick sits on the couch, "You are going to have to narrow it down a little bit. I said a lot of stuff last night." I sit down next to him thinking that maybe if I am honest it will help me listen to my heart and make the right choice,

"I do feel guilty and I do feel scared. I feel that way because no one not even Brenton has made me feel so unsure about everything, and then you enter my life out of the blue and my world is turned upside down." Nick places his hand on my cheek making me look at him, "You shouldn't feel scared or guilty just because I make you feel free to be yourself, and I think part of the reason you feel that way with me is because you know that no matter what you do that I have done something way worse." Nick stands up off the couch and stands in front of me with his hand out to me,

"Do you trust me?" I look up at him feeling overwhelmed with uncertainty as my head screams one thing and my heart screams another which when it comes to Nick is something that commonly happens, "If you truly trust me Little Dove then nothing else matter, I will step aside and put my feelings aside if that is what you want me to do, and I will be content with just us being friends." I look at Nick thinking of how different he has changed since the day I met him in the book store.

I slowly nod my head and place my hand in his, "I trust you Nick." Nick helps me to my feet with the two of inches away from each other, "Would you like a grand tour of my home?" He asks his accent thicker than normal but I am not complaining, "Lead the way." I say as Nick nods his head and starts giving me a tour.