Azur Lane: Dead Men Never Lie

Bonus Oneshot: A Series Of Unfortunate Events

This is a oneshot that takes place some time after Eugen purposefully shot Zed to try and get information on the Royal Navy's top secret research

"You sure you're alright?" Eugen asks as she walks to Zed, who's completely recovered.

"Yeah, I'm alright. You did what you had to do." Zed replies. "But could you have at least shot me in the arm or something?"

"I would have but then they wouldn't have been so quick to admit you." Eugen says. "Although I will admit it was pretty funny."

"Everything's funny to you Eugen, even when it's not supposed to be funny." Zed retorts.

Cooking

"Man does it feel good to cook every now and then." Zed chuckles as she finds herself in the dorm kitchen making food for herself and the others waiting outside.

"Is there anything else that you might need?" Eugen asks as she looks in the fridge.

"Nope, I think that should be everything." Zed replies as she looks in a pot full of soup.

"I think it's a little too thick though..." Eugen says.

"Oh I'm sure it's fine. You've never had tomato soup before?" Zed asks.

"I don't think any of us have so this should be interesting." Eugen replies before trailing off.

"What? Something wrong?" Zed asks as she looks at the pot too late.

*BLORP!*

"Oh!" Zed shouts as a huge bubble suddenly explodes, covering her face with tomato soup. When she turns around, Eugen is trying her hardest to contain her laughter. "Eugen don't you dare..."

"I... Pbt... I can't... I'm sorry!" Eugen says before finally falling on the floor laughing.

"EUGEN!!!" Zed shouts.

Chalked Up

"I'm feeling like pranking someone today, and I've got just the thing!" Eugen chuckles as she gently tosses a chalk bomb up and down. It's full of colored chalk and is as big as her hand, and Eugen slowly scans the area around her for someone to throw it at. "Hmm... You know what... What would happen if I were to shoot this out of one of my cannons?" She says as she brings out one of her gun mounts and successfully packs the chalk bomb into one of her barrels. "Now I haven't loaded any of my guns so this should be foolproof."

"Ugh... Where did I put it?" Zed asks out loud as she searches for something.

"I think I've found my target." Eugen chuckles quietly as she aims her cannon at Zed before firing. The chalk bomb makes a strange "whump!" noise as it's shot out of her cannon, but it flies straight and true- right into Zed's face.

*POOF!*

"What the heck?!" Zed shouts as she tries to clear the cloud of chalk blinding her. When the cloud is clear Zed's entire head is covered in blue chalk and her only evidence of who the perpetrator might be is the sound of hysterical laughter... "EUGEN!!!"

Bait-and-Switch

"Hee hee!" Eugen chuckles as she looks at the dirty magazine currently in her hands. "Who's book shall I switch out with?" She asks herself as she finds herself in the Ironblood part of the dorms. She then looks at Zed's stuff and sees a magazine that has the same color cover as the dirty one she has in her hands. "And there's nothing on the spine? This should make it all the better!"

"Yeah, I'll see you then." Zed's voice calls out.

"Oh shoot I have to do this fast!" Eugen says to herself as she quickly switches out whatever magazine Zed had with the dirty one and pretends to mind her own business as Zed walks in.

"Hey Eugen, whatcha readin?" Zed asks as she notices Eugen's nose buried in a magazine.

"Oh nothing." Eugen replies. "At least she doesn't realize I have her magazine." She chuckles in her head.

"I'm bored." Zed proclaims as she grabs the dirty magazine before looking at the cover and realizing what she just grabbed. "What the?! Who put THIS here?!" It's at this point that she looks to Eugen, who's trying very hard not to laugh but is letting out a few snickers.

"Yes?" Eugen asks as she turns around and reveals the cover of the magazine she's reading.

"EUGEN!!! GET BACK HERE!" Zed screams as she begins chasing Eugen.