lunatic

chapter 9

When I get home mum and dad start fighting. They were acting a little weird in the car and I did notice that mum had been crying, but I didn't want to say anything. But now they are fighting. This is a normal thing but this seems different. They are actually hurting each other with words, not just saying things.

"Your so brain dead joker you can't even car for you daughter at all. I always have to do everything" mum screams at dad. I've never seen mum like this. She never really stands up to dad, like ever. Dad just lets the insult roll of him and rolls his eyes.

"Like you can talk. I spend 1 million dollars a month on you and her. I don't even care anymore. You need to get out of my house. You and your pesky daughter" dad yells. I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart by my own father. I can't believe he said that, and right in front of me as well. I feel tears welling in my eyes but I don't let them fall.

"Well I don't want her." mum yells back. I let the tears fall. I'm standing right in front of them while they yell about now wanting me. They both turned around and noticed that I was standing there. I run to my room and slam the door shut. They don't bother following me up. I lock my door. I feel like I'm useless and nobody wants me around. I start silently crying to myself. Not even my mother and father want me. They have always seemed so caring of me. This feels so random. But even if they were just saying that to get at each other, they also got to me. They both start picking up the yelling and I can hear every word of it.

"Look what you've done now!" dad.

"That wasn't me you fool! Your started it. I love her" mum.

"Sure. that's why you said you don't want her! Just get out of my house and I will keep my princess. Don't you bother try taking her from me or I will kill you!" dad. This treat towards mum doesn't sound empty. But I don't think he would kill her because of me. It's just because he's insane.

"You can't keep her from me your lunatic!" mum. I hear running up and then the thud thud from someone coming up the stairs. But it stops half way. There is a silence.

"Puddin please. Don't do it please don't kill me" mum says. But she knows all too well that when dad makes up his mind about something, He's not going to change it.

"You should have listened to me you dumb bitch. I have one nothing but care for you for the past years of my life. We got this beautiful big house, we had a kid, we loved each other. And still you dare stand against me. I've given you everything you wanted of me. Still you must be a bitch and want more. Well I say no more" dad said. I heard a high pitched scream and then a gun go off. I knew what had just happened. But I didn't want to believe it. The tears stopped and I slowly sat up form the floor of my door. The house was dead silent. I turned to face the door and I slowly unlocked it. I heard footsteps walking away. When I knew they were gone, when he was gone, I opened the door. I didn't want to look but I did anyway. Laying there on the stars was my mum. The mother who looked after me for 15 years of my life. My mother who taught me to shave my legs, how to beat up boys that wanted to much me of, how to look after myself. I felt all these memories of my mother going through my mind. I didn't cry though. You would think that when losing a loved one you would cry. But i didn't. I didn't feel much at all. I didn't even hate my dad for it. I was numb. Nothing mattered anymore. I turned around and made my way back to the bedroom. I closed the door and the last thing I saw from the outside it was dad's guards picking up mums limp body with sad eyes. They didn't dare look at me. They just picked her up as if she was just another one of dad's business meetings gone wrong.

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Time speeds by but I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about how fast everything had just changed. One minute I was happy and laughing with my mother and father at the club, the next they were yelling and disowning me, and the next she was dead on the steps leading to my room. It's all my fault. If mum hadn't been trying to come and get me she wouldn't have gotten shot. It's my fault and I can't do anything for her. I couldn't do anything to save her and now I'm stuck in this house with my father. Who might murder me next. I check the time on the clock. It's 3am. School starts in 6 hours. I hearing the rain start pouring outside. The house if still silent and it's dark. The only light I can see is the light coming from outside my window. I get off the floor and drag my desk chair to the window. I open the window and left the cool air make goosebumps rise on my bair arms. The wind coming through the window is freezing my in a way refreshing. The rain drops that make it into my window land on me, adding another coldness to my body. It feels good even though this is going to result in me being sick. I hear a bird chirping and i open my eyes. I must have closed them when I came over. There's a small black bird sitting on my window pane. I look at the bird more closely and realise it's the one from the other night. But it's all healed. It was only the other night thought. It can't have healed that fast. But weather or not i was willing to believe it, it had healed and it looked better. It jumped closer to being in my room. The poor thing must be so cold. I stood up and walked over to the bed. The bird followed me like it knew what I was doing. I grab the small blanket I always keep on my bed and the bird jumps onto the bed. I make the blanket look like a nest like thing and place it next to my pillow on the bed. The bird jumps into it and straight away sits down and spreads it wings. Getting ready to sleep. It must have been flying for a while to find shelter. I go back over to the window and close it but i don't lock it. When I get over to the bed the bird looks like it's already asleep. Poor little thing. I lay down in bed and pull the covers over me. My beds going to be wet in the morning but I don't really care. I softly pat the bird on the head and i makes some kind of purring sound. I smile softly to myself and fall asleep.

This is the first night in 2 years that I don't have a nightmare but i have a dream. About mum.