ambivalent

chapter two

connor mason

"Connor, where's my breakfast?! Did you finish doing the laundry you were supposed to? What about the dishes that have been sitting in the sink for about 3 days now?!" Luke yelled at me.

I had only been awake for few minutes. I didn't have time to do any chores yet before I was getting yelled at.

"I'm so-sorry, Luke, I-I-I'll start no-now"

I didn't mean to upset him. He didn't ask much from me, all that i just help around the house. I started some clothes in the washer and started cooking breakfast. I wanted to make my boyfriend a good meal to make up for my wrong this morning. I made eggs, bacon, toast an poured him a glass of orange juice. I set it all up nicely on the table and called for him to come out. Luke took a seat examining over my food I made for him.

"Really Connor? What is this? You know I didn't ask for this. I asked for pancakes. You're so useless to me." He told me.

I felt an instant pain in my heart. I'm a bad boyfriend. I forgot he told me he wanted pancakes. Did he? Of course he did.

"I-I-I'm so-sorry" I didn't mean to forget. I just wanted to be a good boyfriend.

Luke didn't say anything as he stood up from his chair. He reached out his arms and shoved me to the ground. I started crying which only made it worse for me.

"Get up." I didn't wanna move at all. I didn't want this to continue. "Now!"

I stood up keeping my eyes down. He pushed me again only this time harder and into the corner of counter. I fell down once more to the ground. He kicked me in my stomach. I held my hands over my head to somewhat protect myself.

This wasn't the first time. And it sure won't be the last.

"Stay down there. Don't move until I come back. If I find out you did, and trust me I will, you'll regret it." Luke told me.

Tears were streaming down my face. I was in so much pain. My side hurt from where he pushed me into the counter and my stomach from where he kicked me.

"Is that understood?!" He yelled at me.

"Y-y-yes-yes." I could barely get the word out. I had work today. I was to scared to say anything or tell him. I knew he wouldn't let me go, not looking like this. I still had a bruise from last night when he shoved me and I hit my head.

I watched Luke walk away as I layed on the ground. I heart the door open and then close. He was gone. My body was in pain, yet I was used to it.

I wanted to get some medicine to lessen my pain but I didn't wanna move. It hurt to move and what if Luke found out. What would he do then?

I slowly sat up, each time I moved pain shot up throughout my whole body. I made my way to the bathroom and grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen. I took out 2 pills and made my way back to the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of water and took the pills.

What was I supposed to do about work today? I didn't wanna miss but Luke would know I left. He knows where I work so he would easily find me. Then what would he do to me.

I checked my phone and saw that it was almost 9 o'clock. If I was going to work today I needed to get ready quick so I wouldn't be late.

"Here's your re-receipt" I handed the customer there change with their receipt. I ended up getting ready for work putting on a long sleeve shirt to cover any bruises. I figured I could work at least part of the time and leave a little early before Luke got home so he wouldn't know I went to work.

"Look who it is. Stutter boy." I remember those two boys from Friday night.

They both walked around the store for a minute grabbing snacks and a couple drinks and brought them up the counter. I scanned all the items.

"Do you want a bag? Do you want a bag?"
I asked them.

"No. No." One of the boys mocked me for the way I talked. I couldn't help it. I always had to repeat things until they sounded perfect.

"Thank you." The boy on the right said.

The one that had mocked me started to walk away but the other still hadn't moved.

"You comin' or what?" He asked his friend.

"Yeah. Yeah, give me a minute." He said still looking at me as his friend left the store.

"What happened to your face? You have a decent size bruise right there." He said pointing to it on my face.

"I-i-i uh nothing. Nothing. No I-I just hurt myself. I just hurt myself." I told him knowing I was lying completely to him.

"You sure? Doesn't look like it." He asked once again. Of course not because that's not what happened I thought to myself.

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm okay." I wasn't okay.

"Okay." He said and gave me one last look before walking away.

Maybe that was my chance. My chance to get help for once. No, I couldn't tell anyone. It would only make things worse.

I watched my only possible chance walk away.