The Meaning of Trust: Brutasha

Talking

Natasha takes both their mugs to the nearby kitchen to get a refill. It doesn't take long for her to get back to Bruce in the living room.

"I'm back," she says as she carefully walks towards him. When she gets close enough, she hands him his cup of hot chocolate.

"Thank you, Natasha."

"Still calling me 'Natasha'," she thinks. She watches Bruce sip his drink as he stares into the fire.

As they sit in silence, memories of the night before flood her mind. The lasting thing she can remember is telling Bruce she loves him and she could have sworn he said, "I love you too."

She decides to ask him: "Bruce, did you tell me you love me last night?"

Bruce turns his head in surprise to face her. She obviously caught him in the middle of a thought.
"I-I can't remember." Bruce turns back toward the fire that has yet to die.

"I could've sworn I heard someone say it."

Bruce doesn't respond. He doesn't even move.

====

Bruce gratefully takes his refilled cup of hot chocolate from Natasha: "Thank you, Natasha."

He watches as she sits down silently. He turns to face the flames of the fire.

"Natasha? I can't believe I called her 'Natasha'. Maybe that's why she didn't say anything? I wonder if I should apologize? Am I overthinking this? Was it nothing? Maybe she didn't even notice; it's possible."

"Bruce, did you tell me you love me last night?"

"No. I don't think I did," he thinks to himself. Instead of telling her the truth, "I-I can't remember" comes out of his mouth.

"I could've sworn I heard someone say it."

"Could've been Tony and Pepper talking. Steve and Bucky. I'm 87% sure that I didn't say anything, however." - "Would you have wanted me to say it?"

Natasha shrugs. "I think I used to know my answer to that question, but now I can't even handle looking you in the eyes, Bruce."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Yes and no, I guess. What would you like to start with?"

"The 'no'."

"You've been through so much in your life. I had gotten used to knowing that all that pain lived inside of you. I could see it in your eyes every time I looked at you, yet, one day, it went away. Now, it's back. That pain is back because I betrayed you."

Bruce sets his mug down. "Oh. And the 'yes'?"

"I've always struggled to keep eye contact with you. Not only because of the pain but because they are so understanding and kind. I've always considered myself I guarded person, but, somehow, I've always found some sort of comfort in your eyes. It makes me feel guilty, yet welcomed at the same time."

"I'm sorry," Bruce mumbles.

Natasha is caught off guard. Her head turns so fast, she almost drops her cup of coffee. "Why are you sorry?"

"I make you feel guilty when you don't deserve to feel guilty. Also, no one deserves to have to deal with my past and pain. If I had known, I-."

Natasha stops him: "You would have what, Bruce? Would you have shut me out or left a long time ago? Avoided your feelings and mine too?" Her voice gradually rises.

"I- I just thought no one deserved to carry my problems."

"But you do? That's what you're saying? Natasha asks astonished.