Coping with Life

Forgiveness

Is it wrong to miss someone that did so many bad things to you? You love them because they are your DNA. But that's just the point. We love someone but we can see through so many lies and broken promises. We never learn how to say no to that person.

People said it easy to die than to live and that's true, but that's basically the meaning of life. We make a mistake and we become stronger. A friend of mine says that I have managed with my struggles and that I'm mentally strong, but I don't see it. He has known me for four years and he just sees that I am a strong person. How can I be strong when I feel like I'm broken inside with no one to help me. I need someone or something to cling on. I know that sounds silly, but it's true.

My mental state has been the best in these two years. I still do the things I love. Try and help out others that are in need. Like this girl, she doesn't know what to do. She wants to break-up with her boyfriend but doesn't have the guys to do it. I told her if this person is making you cry at night he isn't worth it. All he is going to do to you is hurt you and you deserve someone who cares about you and is willing to do anything for you just so you can be happy and you do the same.

I put a lot of thought into what to say to her, and I hope that she has to listen to what I said and what my other friend said. I feel like I owe it to help others because my friends helped me through so much and I want to help others that are going through the same things or something like I was going through.

Sounds silly right but helping others is always something I'm good at doing. When I was younger people told me I had a heart of gold. That's my plan in life to give back to the people that helped me so much when I was younger. One of my best friends has helped me see the light on certain things like that in order to move on we have to forgive so I tried to but that in mind. And you know what he was right.

Forgiving is so much better than to hold a grudge for a lifetime. My best friend has shown me that God can bring light in the dark moments. for hours we talk about how our day is because we go to different schools and live and different cities. But we live close by. He was there for me when my grade teacher died. He was there for me when one of my friend's anniversary of his death. He kept tabs on me that day. I never said thank you but I will soon. He and my upland hill boys have helped me so much this year.

Those are one of the many things that I'm grateful for. For my boys, that are my best friends, my mother, my friends from school, my dog, and the people that I work with. So, Dad, I forgive you but I will never forget what you did to me and I don't want you in my life. My life has been complicated since the age of six and my emotions were up and down all the time till the year 2015 and now I know my emotions. How to control them and what I should do when I need to act.

So thank you for giving life to me, but you are never going to be in my life you really don't deserve the right to be on it. You treated me and my siblings like shit. A father is shouldn't treat their own children like shit. They should love then no matter what, to pick up the pieces when a boy breaks their heart. So help them be strong when they need to be. But you never did that because you weren't in my life.