Heart of a Berserker: Trust (School of Dragons)

Chapter 23

"When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide" 

- "Demons" by Imagine Dragons

Chapter 23

I stood on the other side of Harald's cell, watching him as I tried to figure out where to begin. The previous action left me little time to think.

"If you're going to release me, now is your chance," Harald said with a smirk.

I glared at him. "I'm not going to release you. That's not why I'm here."

His eyebrows lifted. "Right. You're here for the truth. Fine. What do you want to know?"

I should not have been surprised he figured it out. He knew me too well. At least that saved me time. I took a deep breath. "Did you mean anything you said to me these past few weeks? Was any of it real?"

"It depends on what you mean by 'real.' Did I lie to you? Yes and no. You will have to be more specific."

I frowned. Of course he would not make this easy on me. I decided to go a different route. "You befriended me because you wanted to gain my trust, correct?"

He nodded. "You assume right."

"Did you pretend to like me?"

"No. I do like you. I never lied about that."

I gritted my teeth in frustration. That made no sense to me. And yet, in his twisted mind, there had to be some sort of logic to it. I needed to see it from his perspective if I wanted to understand. "Once you gained my trust, why did you stick around for that long? Earlier, you said you went overboard with me. What did you mean?"

Harald looked down at the ground as if he did not know what to say. Then he looked back at me, his expression unreadable. "I stayed because I liked being with you. With you, I was able to forget everything that's wrong in my life and enjoy the moment. You asked if any of it was real. In my opinion, none of it was real. We were living in a fantasy world, Brennda, and it couldn't last."

I nodded. Now at last I had some clarity. "But at some point you felt guilty."

"Yes. I really did not mean for things to get that far. I was using you, true, but I did not intend to play with your emotions. I never wanted you to feel this way about me."

"Because it's so terrible to have someone care about you?" I said scathingly.

He shook his head. "If you care about me, that gives me the opportunity to use that against you, which I just said I don't want to do."

I crossed my arms. "Because doing so would make you feel guilty? If you have such limits, it just proves your humanity."

Harald gave me a bittersweet smile. "Dear Brennda, don't you understand? Your friends are right. The small amount of goodness you see does not take away from who and what I am."

"A pirate," I said darkly.

"Yes." His eyes suddenly grew cold as they stared into mine. "I've done things you wouldn't want to know about, and I will do them again in the future. If you insist on caring about me, you will get hurt. It is best if you forget about me and move on."

I dropped my arms and clenched my fists. "But it's too late for that, Harald! It was too late the moment we met. You should have never come to Dragon's Edge. You should have stayed away if you were only going to regret it. It would have been better if we never met. But-" I sucked in a sharp breath. "We did meet, and I can't forget about you. I don't want to. Did you mean anything you said to me? Because I meant every word I said to you. And no matter what you say now, I won't give up on you. You're the one who's going to leave me, not the other way around." My words came out strong and forceful. I glared at him, daring him to challenge me.