The Secrets He Kept

Chapter 2

- Two years ago -

Shawn Spencer packed up the car with a couple bags of clothes and shoes. He told his wife that he was going out of town on business. That the Quantico FBI office wanted him for a case, but that wasn't the truth.

Shawn waited until his wife was asleep and then he woke up his six year old twin daughters while he carried his two year old son, and they headed out to the car. Tonight was the night that they left. That they got away from the toxic woman who had mothered his children.

After everyone was in the car, Shawn pulled out of the driveway and started down the road to the freeway. He didn't know where he was going to go yet. He thought about going to Santa Barbara and maybe seeing his dad again. His dad would love to know that he was a grandfather, because he'd never met his grandchildren. Sure Shawn didn't have the best relationship with his father, but he wouldn't want to deprive his children of knowing their grandfather. And for that matter, what about Gus? Shawn and Gus were practically brothers. He would never have alienated Gus. No, that was all Kendra.

The more Shawn thought about his family and friends that he had in Santa Barbara, the more he thought that maybe he shouldn't go there. 'What if Kendra finds me and threatens my dad and Gus?' He thought. Shawn didn't want to put anyone's lives in unnecessary danger. He'd married Kendra and it was his fault that he didn't notice the signs of her abuse soon enough. It was his fault that he and his children had suffered, but that didn't mean his dad and Gus should suffer too.

It was almost two in the morning when Shawn crossed the border into Colorado. The kids were asleep in the back and he was exhausted. He knew that he needed to find a motel to rest at for the night, but he also needed to get some cash. He couldn't pay for a hotel with his bank card. Right now Shawn was kicking himself for not going to the bank and getting cash back in Kansas. If he went to an ATM here in Colorado, it would make it easier for the police to find him if Kendra called them, but he knew that she would. Especially when she noticed that the children were gone. 'Oh well, it is what it is.' Shawn thought, 'I can't go back and change the past.'. He did have some cash in his wallet, but he didn't know if it would be enough for a hotel and to buy breakfast in the morning, because he knew the kids would need to eat.

Shawn pulled off the freeway at the nearest exit and drove around looking for a cheap motel while he thought about the $80 dollars that he had in his wallet. It wasn't much, but he figured it would have to do.

After driving around for almost twenty minutes, Shawn finally found a motel with vacancy. It was technically summer, so most kids were out of school and on vacation with their families. Shawn pulled into the parking lot of the motel and as much as it pained him to do so, he woke up the twins so that he could book a room and get checked in. He carried his sleeping son against his chest as he walked into the motel lobby with the twins.

Shawn was so exhausted that everything after hearing that the motel had a room available was a blur. The next thing that he fully remembered was waking up the next morning to Lionel sitting on his chest and Paloma and Celeste jumping on the other bed.

"Daddy, wake up!" Lionel yelled in his father's face.

Shawn winced from the noise, "I'm up, buddy."

"Daddy, Oma and I are hungry." Celeste informed her father

"We can go for food after you shower and get dressed." Shawn replied, "Why don't you and Oma shower together and while you're getting dressed, Lyle and I will shower."

Celeste smiled, "Deal." Then she dragged her twin sister into the bathroom.

While the Paloma and Celeste were in the shower, Shawn realized that none of the kids had brought up their mother. He knew that it was still early and that the twins would know something was going on sooner rather than later, but he had expected the first thing his son to ask is 'where mama?'. And then suddenly as if by magic, Lionel had uttered those exact words.

"Daddy, where mama?" Lionel asked

Shawn sighed softly, "Oh Ly, Mommy couldn't come on this trip. It's just you, me, Oma, and Estie."

"Okay Daddy." Lionel replied as he laid his head down on his father's chest.

Shawn forced a smile. Lionel was so pure and innocent. It killed Shawn to lie to his son, but how could he possibly tell his two year old that they were going on a permanent vacation without mommy. Sure, Kendra was abusive: physically, verbally, and emotionally, but she was still Lionel, Paloma, and Celeste's mother. And Lionel was a two year old boy, who didn't really understand the situation at home. All he cared about was his mother, father, playing with his toys, and having someone to make him feel safe and rock him to sleep at night.

After Paloma and Celeste got out of the shower and stepped out of the bathroom to get dressed, Shawn carried Lionel as he headed into the bathroom to shower.

When everyone was dressed and ready to go, Shawn checked out of the motel and headed out to the car to drive and find a breakfast place. The whole time he was driving, he had the kids in the backseat singing 'Hungry, hungry, I am hungry' over and over again. Luckily for Shawn and the sake of his sanity, it didn't take very long to find a breakfast place to eat.

It was a small bakery, but one of those ones that has seating. Shawn walked up to the counter with his kids and ordered. They had just sat down to eat, when Paloma had asked the dreaded question.

"Daddy?" Paloma called nervously, "Why isn't mom here?"

Shawn sighed as he thought about what he was going to say carefully. They were out in the open, so he wanted to make sure he didn't say anything that would raise any alarms.

"Well Oma, don't you remember?" Shawn questioned cryptically, "It's because mom didn't want to come. She essentially left us." He winked at his daughter.

Paloma nodded, "Okay Daddy." She knew her father's hint, and she understood what he was saying. They were leaving her mother. They would finally be safe.

Shawn knew the real reason for his daughter asking about her mother. It wasn't that Paloma missed her mother or even wanted her there, but she knew how mad her mother would get. The little girl just wanted to know if her father had a plan to avoid her mother's wrath, because she hated when her mother beat up on her father. Paloma was the more sensitive one out of the twins. She hated seeing people get hurt or in pain.

Shawn never hit Kendra back, because he would never hurt a woman. And he never tried to defend himself, because he didn't want to accidentally injure Kendra while trying to defend himself. So he let Kendra hit him while he stood and fell helplessly. What else could he do? He was taught never to hit a lady.

- Present Day -

Celeste, being the oldest sibling, was too busy to notice how spaced out her father looked. She was busy watching her biological mother and making sure that neither Paloma nor Lionel got hurt. However Paloma had noticed how distracted her father was. She wondered what had him looking so lost.

Lionel was asleep on Paloma's lap and she wasn't close enough to her father to be able to talk to him without her biological mother hearing, so she nudged Celeste and made her aware of their father's state.

"Daddy, are you okay?" Celeste asked after being nudged by her twin sister

Shawn nodded, "Yeah. I was just thinking about the night we left."

"Do you regret it now?" Celeste wondered

Shawn shook his head, "No Celestie, absolutely not. I don't regret a thing. Not even marrying your biological mother, because if I didn't I wouldn't have you, your sister, or brother. However, leaving was the best decision I ever made, and it gave you kids a real mother."

"I love Mama." Celeste told her father, "I'm glad she decided to be our mother."

Shawn smiled, "Me too. She makes me very happy, and seeing how happy she makes you and your siblings makes me even happier."

"That's a lot of happy." Celeste added

"Yeah. It is." Shawn agreed, "You'll understand someday when you have kids of your own."

Paloma listened to every word that her sister and father had said. She agreed with every word too. She was glad that they had left the evil 'Mommy Kendra' and she was glad that she and her siblings had 'Mama Jules' as their mother now. Juliet was their real mother, no matter what Kendra said.