I lied. I know I said that I was going to stop talking to you, but I feel like I need it. Like we both need it. Well it's been 1 year, and nearly 7 months. So much has happened since we last spoke.
That guy? The dick? Yeah, I had to serve him at work last week. I hadn't seen him since everything happened, and then he was there. I just treated him like every other customer, like I didn't know him. Like nothing had happened. Like I was over what he did to me, which is technically true. I am over it all.
It took 6 months but I have finally found someone new, and he treats me well. His name is Nick. We've been together a month and I couldn't be happier. I feel like my life is actually coming together again. Everything is just better.
I'm with someone who actually cares about me. I have supportive friends. I think the only thing that isn't really working out is school. I am so over it, Jack. I don't want to be there anymore. All I want to do lately is sleep, and eat, and watch tv shows, and spend time with Nick and I can barely do any of that all because of school. I am so scared to see my report, I honestly think that I'm failing most of my classes.
I still have trouble sleeping. I think my parents are worried about me, but I wouldn't know. I barely spend time with them.
I feel like a few of my friends don't actually care about me anymore, like I could disappear and it wouldn't mean shit to them. Some of them o have done so much for and now they just treat me like the dirt beneath their feet.
But I'm okay. I'm better. Better than I was. I actually have things to look forward to now. Like school camp, I know it sounds stupid but I honestly just want to get out of here. And Christmas, I'm going to my favourite place for Christmas, and I get to see all my family. I'm really excited.
But the most important thing, it no longer hurts to think about you. Every time I hear your name, I no longer think of you lying in a grave. I can think of all the happy memories, and not collapse on the ground. I am no longer paralyzed, my entire body aching. I can smile, and laugh, and cry. But I cry happy tears, because I know that you are safer now. You no longer live your life with a constant struggle, and I so proud of you.
I think this really will be the last time we speak though Jack. Here anyway. Goodbye Jack.
I love you. My perfect little angel.
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My Lovely Friend- Jack Dylan Diamond McWilliam <3
AléatoireOn the 19th of May 2013, I lost a very close friend to suicide. Return If Possible my perfect little angel. Jack Dylan Diamond McWilliam. 15.01.1998 - 19.05.13 <3