John (not his real name) says feminism is harmful, pointless, and "no regular male" wants anything to do with it.
That "no regular male" thing got right up my nose.
So I posted a point by point response.
John got angry (as I knew he would) and expos...
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That's some rant you posted there John. It's your right of course, public domain and all that. Me, I couldn't agree less, so let's break it down.
Your opening point: '... feminism is often used to oppress people and hurt others – and there's no denying that.'
Well, it's hard to deny it when you skipped the bit about 'how' it's used to hurt and oppress others. You referred to the Family Court at one point, so is that what you mean? By feminist oppression? There is a point to be made there because the court does, at times, give judgements that hit fathers like a knife in the heart.
However, it must also be said, the family court is part of a legal system where the majority of law makers and enforcers are men. Our legal system is not something feminists dreamed up. It's societies attempt at fairness.
Next, you take a swing at men who support feminism. That's me and the majority of my male friends. Supporting women in their drive for equality comes natural to the kind of men I value and respect.
You say; 'Hardly any mentally and physically healthy regular male will say "I'm a feminist"'; yet here I am. I'll put my 'mentally and physically healthy' feminist self up against your 'poor victim me' anti-feminist self anytime.
Who is this 'regular male' you evidently think you represent anyway? I'm 65, which gives me 41 years on you, ample time to have lived all sorts of lives with all sorts of men. What have I learned? Men who call themselves 'regular' males are usually men insecure in the masculinity. I don't need that so I have no problem calling myself a feminist. At work, in the pub, or here. I'll take a joke about it, but I won't be put down for it.
Your next clanger: 'Hardly any girl would appreciate being picked up by a self-proclaimed feminist or am I wrong?'
Yep, wrong again. I've had a rich and varied sex/love life as a self-proclaimed feminist. How's the 'anti-feminist' stance working for you John? Not well I expect. I can't imagine any of the women I've been with being interested an anti-feminist.
So who are these women you're talking about? Or is the key in your use of the word girl, instead of woman? It frustrated me as a teen, how girls were weirdly attracted to boys who mocked and bullied them but it soon turned around. Mistreatment might pass as 'manly' with the young ones but soon enough they see through it.
These boy/men get stuck in a groove, growing steadily older than the girls they seek to dominate. These are the men who cling to the young ones because they can't keep up with women's growing independence. I'm not saying younger woman older man is bad in itself, any more than older woman younger man is. But when it's grown men pursuing girls because of they've failed to grow into true manhood, then it's an issue.
In my experience it's manliness that's attractive to women, not demanded submission. (Sex play is another story, not what I'm talking about here.) Manliness is a confidence, an inner security, usually intelligent, often funny. It can manifest in a quiet guy at the office, or a loud guy on a building site. In a sporty dude or a nerdy dude. This manliness; considerate, empathetic, protective; includes an interest in women's welfare. What's not attractive about that?
