MY RANDOM AND stupid SHTUFF

....um hello hehe

Hi.

Update time

So first things first um it's not fun btw

I've given up on life. Really to be honest. I could get in why but that's is just a whole nut house I am not ready to get into. I just feel so broken. I smile sure but is it genuine? Half the time no. Most the time I smile to look happy. But I know the truth...no one else can tell...

Life just hasn't been kind lately. I'm looking for a relationship but I'm not. I'm open to have one but I'm not putting in the effort. Idk I'm just scared of rejection I guess. I had a concert the other night. It was long...but oh boy can my crush strut in a suit holy shit-

Haha anyway. Idk I dont really have a crush on anyone anymore. It's just basically empty disappointment. I feel so alone in this world. Everytime I go somewhere and theres a lot of people i feel alone. And when I'm alone I feel not alone. Its weird ik but its only sometimes.

The drama with my friends doesn't really stop. I mean we cant go one week without ripping each others heads off at least once. Its rough. I know I've been told to cut them out but theres someone I just cant bring myself to leave behind. She just means too much to me to let go. But there is someone I do hate beyond all rationality bbbuuuttttt we ain't gonna get into that...

I miss my ex/bff more and more everyday. And just a few hours ago I heard their voice for the very first time in a few months and I honestly can say just when you thought you were over someone. I legit started tearing up. It was bad. I miss him...

I'm doing bad in school
I'm female and possibly gay
I've given up
And I miss too many damn people

Hows your life:)