Flicker (H.S)

23.

comments have been really low lately, so please talk to me about everything you like, dislike, hate. cause i think you’re gonna hate harry in this chapter. oops. plus i gave you a double update, so....

23.

“My mum brought me into school on that very first day, holding my hand and telling me that I looked great in my tie and fancy trousers even though I was sure I didn’t. I remember sitting at a table and being bored, and missing my mum and my sister, and then this girl sat down right across from me. She wore this really pretty yellow sundress and had pigtail braids that were the lightest shade of blonde I’d ever seen.

“I’m Harry.” I told her, because mum had always told me to be nice to the girls I fancied.

She smiled and one of her front teeth was missing. “I’m Jess.”

And there, in that classroom on the first day of school, was where I fell in love with Jessica Holly.”

[autobiography of Harry Styles; read October 1st, 2016]

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HE tugs his jeans up his legs and tries to ignore the smell of sadness on his skin.

It’s sweat and lust and sadness. And it clings to him like wet cotton as he pulls his shirt over his head and shoves his feet into his trainers, wiping the sleep from his eyes and guilt from his cheeks.

The door groans loudly as it opens. In an act of panic, Harry whips his head around to look at a still-sleeping Everly, taking in her still-even breaths and her still-comfortable position and still-skinny legs. And he’s still-guilty as he sighs in relief, walking out the door and quietly tip-toeing down the stairs, trying to forget how she looked as she slipped into paradise underneath him, eyes squeezed shut and toes curling. There was sweat at her hairline and a spot on her forehead but she was so beautiful.

So he’s leaving.

Cutting all ties.

Because he can’t seem to forget how she looked as she slipped into paradise beneath him,  and it’s replacing his few memories of Jess’s eye colour and how her hair felt as it tangled in his fingers. And if he loses Jess he has nothing left keeping him on the earth besides a girl who only acts like she loves him and has skinny legs.

His phone is in his hands as soon as he takes off down the pavement back towards the school, not wanting to have Mel come and pick him up, asking all the unnecessary questions he doesn’t think he can answer.

It rings a good four times before an annoyingly loud and happy voice comes over the line.

“Harry?”

“Yeah.” He answers. His tongue is dry in his mouth as it darts out to wet his lips. And the words leave his mouth before he can think better of it, making his heart clench because he can’t seem to forget what she looked underneath him as she slipped into paradise, eyes squeezing shut and toes curling. “Meet me behind the school. I’ll text you when I get there.”

She giggles and Harry fights to urge to roll his eyes at how fake the sound was. “Alright baby. You wanna blow off some steam, yeah?”

He sighs and rubs his temples, irritated. “Yeah, whatever. Meet me behind the school.”

And he hangs up with a heavier heart than before.

THE bed is empty when she wakes.