Planning Direction (Daddy Direction Series)

Two

Chapter Two

N I N A

      “What do you mean you don’t know if you want to go through with the wedding,” she asked me, her face wide as she sat our coffees down on my desk. I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging on the ends to straighten them out, only to have them curl back up. “I… I thought you loved Zayn?”

      “I do love Zayn,” I reassured her. “With all my heart but… it just seems all too rushed and too soon for this to happen to us. I at least want to wait for the babies to be somewhat older. I don’t know… it’s all too complicated now.” Now that I said everything out loud, it didn’t sound too logical in my ears. I just stared at her, waiting for her response, for her to say anything.

      All she did was blink at me, her expression unreadable. “You… I…” she sighed. “Have you at least talked to Zayn about this?” She ran her fingers through her hair, switching the direction of the way her hair flowed. She took me seriously this time and that surprised me. I shook my head. “And why not?”

      “B-Because he might get mad at me. I don’t want him to be pissed.”

      “I don’t think he’ll be pissed if you told him the truth, Nina. It would be worse if you went through with this and you weren’t happy, most importantly you weren’t ready. Just talk to him about it, yeah? If he loves you, he’ll understand and if I know Zayn, he’ll understand.”

      I nodded my head, taking in her advice. I shouldn’t have a problem talking to Zayn, he was the love of my life. I should be able to talk to him and be open with him. But there was still a lot that Zayn didn’t know about me and I didn’t know how he would take it if he found out. I’ve been so tired of trying to keep it from him, but since I got pregnant, it was getting harder and harder to hide it.

      “You know, it’s been a while since I’ve seen Zayn this happy. He’s been so quiet, so to-himself before he found you. Perrie was one- shit,” she said as she covered her mouth as if she just told me something she wasn’t supposed to. My eyes widened.

      “El, who’s Perrie?” She looked away from me, running her fingers through her hair and cursing under her breath. “Eleanor, who is Perrie,” I asked again, getting frustrated because I knew she was hiding something from me.

      Not fair now, is it?

      I internally cursed at my subconscious. This wasn’t the time to be focusing on me.

      For now.

      She sighed, looking at me with hurt in her eyes that only worried me more. Was Perrie someone that hurt Zayn? Surely the other boys knew about her, even saw her at the least once while she was with Zayn. But as Eleanor looked at me with those doe eyes, it made my stomach churn with uncertainty.

      “It would be best if you heard it from Zayn himself,” was all she told me. So I made it a plan to actually talk to him about it since we’re now engaged and it seems like he’s holding some big secret from me.

*******

      I watched as he held the cigarette so delicately between his fingers, the fingers that could do the most wonderful things besides hold his microphone with ease. He brought the small stick up to his silky lips, his cheeks hollowing as he inhaled cancer filled smoke, not giving a damn that this small thing was killing him ever so slowly. It was a good thing that he was outside on the balcony as I watched him, keeping both me and the baby safe from the harmful smoke he was releasing.