He Made Me Feel (Boyxboy)

CH. 21 My story to you

CH. 21 My Story to You

(Ben POV)

I was nervous about telling him the story, telling him my story.

I looked at him, and he had a gentle expression on his face, which brought me calmness.

I found myself calm around Jesse; it was new and something I had never thought I would experience. That was honesty right there.

I couldn't believe someone could help me feel this way, with them just being around me or caring for me.

"I was in the foster care system all my life, the foster care system wasn't the best. As a matter of fact, some of them were extremely awful. I got physically abused and even almost got sexually abused in some too, I always ended up always getting out of those ones somehow and being placed in another foster home right after." I said, staring at my hand.

"I had to be on the lookout for not only bad foster parents but also twisted and bad foster siblings. I kept to myself and I guess some people felt like they could easily mess with someone like that." I said, flinching as I recalled some memories.

I kept talking, not wanting to look up at Jesse yet.

"I was an easy target to bullies at school and in the system, even the adults were bullies. It was when I was 15 years old that I was actually brought to a good foster care home. The woman was very nice and I was her only foster care child. She gave me my own room, my first birthday and made me feel safe. It took me a while to feel comfortable, I kept thinking it was a dream, that she wasn't going to want me around. She was amazing." I said, remembering her; she was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Some looks were given to us, what would a grown black woman want with a white foster kid.

"She tried hiding it from me that she was sick. She did a good job at it in the beginning, but I wasn't a dumb kid, and she always pointed out that to me. I continued working hard in school, got many scholarships and she was proud of me. It was when she fell to the floor that my suspicions were right. When we got to the hospital, it was confirmed that she had cancer. She knew, but she kept it from me, claiming she didn't want to trouble me." I said, feeling tears fall down my eyes.

"Imagine that. I finally found a good human being in my life, a woman who made me feel loved and wanted. A woman who gave me a mother's love, and now she was being ripped away from me," I said, shaking my head.

"I hated it. I wanted all her pain to go to the people who hurt me instead. As a matter of fact, I prayed for that. The fact that had me going crazy more was that she continued acting normal for me. I knew she was in pain, but she continued asking me about the school, paying for classes that I wanted to take as extras, and helping me with my essays for scholarships and my reports." I said, smiling at the thoughts.

"The doctors tried with chemo, they really did but it didn't work. She kept telling me that if she had met me sooner, that she would have been more strong enough to fight. That she's been in the foster system herself and outgrew foster case. That she also never got adopted, but she worked for everything she had. She was also helping someone else in a similar situation like me as well, and she wanted us to meet. She was strong though, the day that I'll never forget with her. Is when she handed me papers, she had a smile on her face when she did." I said, remembering the moment.

"They were adoption papers?" Jesse asked softly.

I nodded my head.

"Of course I was happy, I even asked her if I could call her Mom and I remember the joy that filled her face. I finally had a mom. We worked hard and got my last name changed to hers. I became Ben Robinson." I said, smiling.

My smile fell.

"Of course life just had to ruin it somehow, she died a couple of months after my 18th-year-old birthday, but she left me so much things and what was extremely crazy is that she had a storage room filled with things that she bought me, things she thought I would enjoy, she had an apartment ready for me and everything, she did that for me and the other girl she wanted to adopt." I said, shaking my head.

"That woman," I said, finding myself crying.

"I wish I met her sooner, I wish her and I met sooner. I was so angry with everything, I was angry with life. I finally had a good thing happen to me and I lost her. I was there on her last day. We spoke and laughed about things, she was strong for me. That was the first time anyone has ever told me they loved me. That was the first time I've ever told anyone I loved them. I told her that she was my mother, the best mother I could ever ask for and love. I was happy to get the chance to be her son." I said, letting out a laugh.

"It was so mess up, I was finally someone's son and It wasn't even for that long, I was going to be someones brother and I was going to have a family." I said, shaking my head.

"She smiled at me, told me from the minute I entered her home, I became her son that day," I said, remembering how my heart felt when she said that.

"I laid my head on her lap as she played with my hair. I was there with her until the moment she left me. Never left her side." I said, looking up at Jesse.

Tears were in her eyes.

"What was her name?" He asked me.

I smiled.

"Analiese Robinson, that was my mom's name," I said.

Jesse moved up to me and pulled me into his arms.

"God Baby, I'm so sorry." He said.

I wrapped my arms around Jesse as well. Letting myself get comfortable in his arms.

"I just get scared sometimes, that every good thing that happens to me won't last." I found myself saying.

I was being honest with him, being honest with my feelings.

I felt his arms around me tighten.

"That won't happen," he said, and even with him saying that, I couldn't believe it.

I so badly wanted to, but it's just something that I've always had happened to me.

He pulled himself back and looked at me.

"I'll make sure of it." He said, looking at me with a serious expression.

"You deserve happiness and I'll make sure of it." He said.

(*Kassandra Speaks*)

It's been so long since I updated this story, and I am happy I can finally. I'll be back with regular updates on this story.

This is Ben's story; of course, I didn't go into details about the abuse that he suffered in foster care, but I will later on in the story. I wanted to still have him tell us his story.

I'm happy Ben is opening up; everything in this story concerns the title.

Give this chapter a VOTE & COMMENT! (REMEMBER, VOTING AND COMMENTING HELP!)

Thank you

Xoxo

-Kassandra Vivu