Bad Habits (An Adoption AU story)

Chapter 6: Relapse

It was the third night. Mabel lay awake in her bed. Many thoughts were racing through her mind, but through it all, the cravings were consuming her. She had promised Dipper before he left that she'd try her best to overcome her sugar addiction, but she had her concerns over it from day one. They were now slowly becoming apparent. Even after Wendy had shown her that she didn't need to give up cold turkey, and that there were alternatives, she couldn't help get that craving she felt deep down to leave.

Elsewhere, in his room on the first floor, Stan was having his own issues. Having been a smoker for so long had become a part of his life...and to now give it up had been hard. He was trying his best to do it for himself, for Dipper, for Ford...and especially for Mabel. He knew she was counting on him to succeed and pull through. But those craving wouldn't go away no matter what. He had been warned that they would be at their worst on day three, but he had brushed it off as just the doctor trying to make him buy into coming back for more advice.

Stan's thoughts raced past like a silent film on double speed. He thought back to all the times smoking had helped him get through a tough moment in his life. It was one of the first things he did after being kicked out of his home. They were always there during his decade on the run across the country. They had been his companion on the night he lost Ford again, and in the days, months, and years afterwards. And of course, they had been by his side the night Dipper and Mabel lost their parents, and through all the ensuing drama and emergencies afterwards too.

They had been by Stan in every bad situation...his way to, for a while at least, ease the pain of all his problems. Being reminded of it all was the final nail in the coffin. He couldn't take it anymore. Stan got out of bed and reached under it. He pulled out a box, in which there was a pack of cigarettes he had purposely forgotten to get rid of. He put on his coat and headed to the back door. He felt guilty as he thought about what he was about to do, but given Mabel was asleep, he figured she'd never find out.

Unbeknownst to him, at that very moment upstairs, Mabel too had hit her breaking point. The thoughts of how she had stress eaten through tons of candy to get through many difficult situations had become evident. They were there when she lost her parents, in the days, weeks and months after Brad had come into her life, and after the surgery which saved Dipper's. They had been there, through it all. In a way, it had become her equivalent to smoking. But she didn't care. She couldn't anymore. The pain they had helped her fight through was too much of a resistance now. She needed it again.

Mabel grabbed her jacket, and quietly tip toed into the kitchen, got on top of a stool, and pulled out from the top of the fridge a bag of leftover candy they had gotten from the holidays. She felt guilty doing it, knowing she knew she was breaking her own promise to Dipper. But given he was not home, and with Stan asleep, Mabel figured she could settle her cravings one more time without being caught, and start fresh in the morning.

Meanwhile, Stan walked outside, and sighed as he lit up a cigarette.

"Well, Stanley, you failed again," he said to himself. He sat down on the old couch and looked up at the stars. The cold weather gave him chills, but the warmth of the cigarette kept him calm.

Mabel too had come outside. She figured the noise of the wrappers being opened may wake Stan up. She opened the first of the many sweet treats, and put it in her mouth. The taste of sweetness was a welcome one to her after days of nothing but vegetables and other healthy alternatives to her former high sugar diet.

"What am I doing?" she said to herself as she unwrapped another candy to eat.

She felt like she had no control anymore. Her mind was telling her both to, and not to eat more. She felt like her title of being the fighter in her family had been lost. How could she be a fighter when she was losing to her own addiction?

Mabel could never have guessed then that Stan, who was on the other side of the shack, felt the same way. Between him and Ford, he'd been dubbed the strong one. The one who never backed down or accepted defeat, even when things looked hopeless. He felt he no longer deserved that title as he took another drag of his cigarette.

Mabel could feel the effects of her impending sugar rush take a hold, as she got up to walk around the shack. It was a feeling she had been missing and also longing to feel again. The silence of the forest helped her remain calm though. She tried to act like the cold didn't bother her much, but as she shivered, the peace and quiet of the night was interrupted by the sound of a heavy cough.

It took Mabel back by surprise. No one but her should be outside the shack as far as she knew. It sounded like it had come from the other side. Mabel was afraid to look, but curiosity had too much influence by now, and she started for the back of the shack. Soon her suspicions were answered.

"Grunkle Stan?!" she yelled.

Stan had just finished up his first cigarette and was preparing to light up another one when Mabel walked in on him. The sight of him holding the pack in his hands and the still smoking bud on the floor tore at Mabel's heart.

"Mabel?!" he replied, "Wha...what are you doing up?"

He then got a glimpse of the bag of candy in Mabel's hand.

"Mabel?"

Mabel realized what Stan was looking at and tried to hide it.

"No...it...it's not what you think?!" she said.

"Not what I think? It looks to me like you were out here eating candy when you're not supposed to be!!"

Mabel tried to think up an excuse, but the hypocrisy of Stan's statement became apparent to her.

"Oh, look who's talking!" she fired back, "The man who can't go a damn hour without those cancer sticks?!"

"Hey, I've been doing this before you, your brother, heck, even your parents were born, so I've got more of an excuse than you do!"

"Well what does that matter to me anymore?! They're gone!"

Stan ignored Mabel's gestures to stop as he lit the second cigarette.

"Do you even realize what you're saying?" he said.

"Oh, don't I? Yeah, keep doing that, Grunkle Stan! Soon you'll join them!" yelled Mabel in a fit of rage. It took a her a mere second to realize what she'd said as she covered her mouth in shock at what she had let slip out.

"Why, I outta just..."

At that moment, Stan lost all control and struck Mabel across the cheek...hard. All this time he thought the cigarettes helped curve his violent tendencies, helped give him a more level-head, but in that moment, they did exactly the opposite.

He had struck Mabel...his daughter...his best friend in the whole world. If CPS were there now, she would be taken away from him in a heartbeat, because he abused her. The same way Stan's own father had abused him, and the same way he had promised he would never do to children of his own.

Mabel's eyes were filling with tears and Stan's heart filled with indescribable guilt. He wanted to find the words to say he was sorry, to say how much he loved her, to say that he would never lay a hand on her again, but words kept getting stuck in his throat.

Stan's attempted response was interrupted by the onslaught of a cough. But unlike the ones before, it went on and on.

"Grunkle Stan?" said Mabel as her anger and heartbreak turned to concern.

"Wa...wa...water!" begged Stan through the coughs as he dropped the cigarette on the ground.

Mabel didn't need to wait for him to say it before she rushed back into the shack.