Love Twist With A Teacher: Book 1(HP/Severus Snape Fanfic ReUpload{CURRENT EDIT}

Chapter 22: Snape's Realization and News of Hurt

~ Snape's POV ~

~ After He Left The Hospital Wing ~

Not being able to contain myself, I ended up leaving the hospital wing with Miranda and the others still there.

I left because I was getting weak; yeah, I'm a coward. The only one who has was Albus and he knows that. I became weak because of Miranda; she's affecting me. I didn't want either them or her to see me upset, as it was the last thing I needed to destroy my reputation. I couldn't let anyone bear to see me get weak. I know it may appear heartless to leave her that way, but I couldn't stay any longer in that room. I couldn't stand to see her that way, and deep down, it bothered me. I cannot bloody believe she did that to herself, and I didn't even bother to figure it out sooner or check my storage to put the puzzle pieces together. 'Probably 'cause your one of the reasons why she tried to poison herself with potions, you moron,' is what my mind said as I got to my personal room and sat in my chair.

Obviously, I felt sorry for Miranda because she doesn't have a dad or a stepfather much anymore since it's likely he'll die. I know it seems like I don't care, but deep down...I do. She doesn't really even have much of anyone family-wise besides Granger's mother and Granger herself. The way she looked when I saw her lying unconscious next to a mess of potion concoctions in the girl's bathroom with Albus was heartbreaking. Her breath was shallow, and her face was pale; she even gasped for breath a few times, and when I picked her up to carry her to the hospital wing, I noticed a small cut on her arm. When I last saw her in the hallway, I knew I was getting out of control. I didn't realize it at the moment, but now I've realized that. I only wanted to hurt her enough to not have feelings for me anymore.

It was never my intention, after the obvious situation I got myself into, to truly hurt her anymore. I didn't mean to partly be the cause of her doing something so reckless. I know I'm part of the reason, even though me and Albus know all without her having to say it. Now, I regret saying some of the things I said to her, like 'I loved Lily all my life more than I can ever love her.' In a way, that wasn't fully true, though, because I've now grown to have deep feelings for Miranda, something I thought I wouldn't feel again. I'll have love and care for Lily Potter, always, but the way I've come to feel for Miranda is nothing like I've ever experienced before. I've been partly saying and doing these things so neither of us would feel the opposite way, and things will go back to being a student and teacher. Not to mention, I don't currently like the idea of Miranda trying to date Potter or whatever they're doing. I thought they were friends, so why would she go to him?

My jealousy got worse when I saw her and that insolent brat holding hands at lunch. I was getting jealous and fuming as I had tried hard to control myself. This was while I had known that Miranda kept staring at me. I knew right away, then she felt and saw what I was feeling from the constant staring, and I was trying to hide it. I knew completely that it was bad and wrong to forcefully kiss her and all that with her friends around, but I couldn't help myself. I felt that another part of me was saying to do it anyway and didn't care about the consequences that would cause. It was almost like that moment wasn't really me at all; a different part of me that's unknown. What is this girl doing to me? It's so wrong to feel like this and act a certain way, thinking that if I act the opposite, she would lose her feelings---that I would lose the feelings. It's wrong to want her, crave her, and I shouldn't---one look and one touch is all it takes for her to change me in unexpected ways.

I shouldn't want her or start to think what it'll be like to try a relationship with her or give in to my feelings. But yet, at the same time, her lips feel good every time when I kiss her. The way her body looked and her breasts so firmly placed that was growing with age. Her curved, young body makes the shape look almost like an hourglass that'll continue to blossom as she gets older. The way she smiles all the time and that light laugh I could easily hear from a mile away. And those green puppy dog eyes that get me lost and hypnotized. She may be petite for her size, but to me, she's perfect, almost reminds me a bit of Lily, and the way her red hair flows when she walks. The way her behind looks as she moves is not big, but also not flat or small; attractive for anyone to notice if they stare long enough. Her lips are always planted nicely, looking so soft all the time that it makes me just want to kiss her forever...