Hear Your Voice Pt.2 // Aph Lithuania x Poland

I have to know

The moment Feliks realized that Toris was crying, he pulled him into a hug once more.

- Why are you crying? - Poland asked worriedly. He knew nothing about what Lithuania has been doing for the past year. He also didn't know about his mental or emotional state.

Exactly, why was he crying? Shouldn't he feel happy?

Toris tried to calm down, not saying a thing. It was obvious that speaking was still very hard for him so Poland did not force him to say anything, he just waited for his partner to calm down.

People passed them, talking happily. The weather was perfect. It wasn't too cold and the sun was shining down on the square on which they were standing. All of this made Toris even sadder. He did not know why he felt that way in the first place.

- I. - He said silently through his tears. - I -I'm S-sor-ry. - He said again in an almost inaudible whisper, wiping the tears off of his face with one of his sleeves. Talking still was very hard for him, despite so much time passing since his accident, he still wasn't able to speak freely, pronunciation of some letters and words still proved impossible to him and no matter how much he tried, at times even making any sound proved impossible.

Toris still stood there crying, hoping that Feliks heard his words. He hated himself for being so helpless, for not being able to clearly explain why he was crying. Despite the fact that he couldn't tell Feliks why he was crying, deep inside he knew well, it was all clear to him now. Feliks was self-harming and he was doing it because of him. He was the cause of all of the pain that Poland was feeling. Why did he even come back? Why did he agree to follow Poland? It really was his fault, he hurt Poland more than the times that he actually was next to him.

But then... What if Toris never turned around... Feliks could have killed himself.

The situation seemed to worsen in both ways. If Toris would have never followed Feliks, the Pole would have died and now that he did follow him, Toris found out about it and would blame himself for this... Probably for as long as he would live.

Feliks continued to hug the Lithuanian, questioning why was Toris crying.

It should not be that way! After all this time, all the pain he had to go through, he was finally reunited with the only person he loved. He wanted to be happy, he wanted everything to go back to normal... But Toris was crying... Was he angry that Feliks persuaded him to come with him? Maybe he was never planning to come back to Poland in the first place?

- Why are you sorry? - Feliks asked Toris, his voice lacking any emotion, he didn't know what he should be feeling at the moment. He still couldn't understand why was Toris crying, why was he apologizing?

Toris stopped hugging Poland. He gathered his strength and wiped the last tears off of his face.

- Th-th-i-is - He whispered in a weak voice, pointing at Poland's bandaged arms. This was all he could say and yet it still proved hard for him to say it.

Poland looked away, he felt ashamed of how he looked and of what he did to himself. He decided not to say anything. He already managed to avoid the topic once only a few minuted before but now he had to say something or at least react.

Before he could think of a response, he felt Lithuania's hand touch his face as if telling him to look at him again.

- It's nothing. - Poland said finally.

Lithuania shook his head as if to say that he did not accept such a response.

Poland just stood there, looking at his partner. It seemed to him that in contrast to himself, Toris looked much better than before and seemed to be enjoying his life.

- What else do you want to hear? - Feliks asked in an annoyed tone. He only later realized that maybe his tone was way too harsh.

- Why? - Lithuania whispered.

- It's really nothing. - Feliks wanted to avoid this topic so much. He just wished that Toris would not continue to interrogate his about it but he knew Toris too well to believe that he would stop. Toris always stuck to one topic and continued to dig deeper until he felt satisfied with the answer.

Toris shook his head again. He had to know the truth.

- I don't think I have to tell you what it is... - Feliks said in an emotionless voice. He accepted defeat, he would have to eventually tell Toris everything. - Come on, let's go home. I don't want to be here anymore. - He said taking Toris by the hand. He still felt like everyone was looking at him.

Toris decided to allow Feliks to lead him. He didn't want to put too much pressure on the Pole but he needed answers. He just had to know why Poland did what he did.

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Hello again!

I hope you liked this :3

So much has changed in my life for the better and I want to go back to writing fanfics because I love it. Anyways, let me know what you think of the first chapter, I know I'm a bit rusty but I'll get there one day ;3 

For now please bare with me!