You Know Me Better

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Where do you feel the most comfortable?

In the theatre.

She never felt more at home than when she did on stage, it was her entire world. Yes, it was as pathetic as it sounded, but it was true. She's changed schools five times in seven years which meant aside from her mom, it was her only constant. Getting tied up in relationships wasn't really her thing so she tended to keep her distance from people all together just so she wouldn't get attached.

She never got to keep them anyway.

She wasn't sure how she allowed herself to forget that because if she didn't, she wouldn't be trying to stay hidden right now. Partially hidden actually, at the back of the auditorium, in the exact same spot Troy hid, watching her team rehearse without her.

The realization made this so much harder. She's never been a part of a team before and now it was the craziest thing; she finally understood what Gabriella was talking about when she said Troy made her feel like it was Kindergarten. Just like her, Gabriella never had a team before until she met Troy, he gave her the freedom to be herself, whoever that turned out to be, and she finally got it...now so did Gina.

The only difference was that Gabriella got to keep her team.

She quickly ducked behind the wall when Ricky happened to turn his head. She wasn't even sure if he was turning to look in her direction, but she couldn't risk it. She's been watching him more than anyone else which, thinking about it now, made her feel like a creep. She still felt guilty about how she treated him the other night at Ashlyn's house when he was only trying to comfort her. And Ricky got what it was like to have problems at home. He even opened up a little bit to her that night and yet when he offered her the same deal, her default setting was to put her walls back up.

He was the only one to break them down in the first place, so this felt like taking a step backwards, and it made her feel like garbage. She wanted to apologize before she moved again, she really did. It was just that this wasn't what she did. She didn't get close to people and she definitely didn't allow herself to feel things like guilt to a point where it kept her up at night. But she was going to apologize once she found the right words. She just couldn't let him see her until then.

"The wildcat superstar's afraid? "

"No! No, I'm not afraid, I...I'm just...scared."

"Me too," Gina whispered as a stray tear fell from her eyes.

Her guilt about Ricky aside, this production meant a lot to her. She was finally okay with playing Taylor that she put her heart and soul into the character only to have the rug pulled from under her, and then be replaced before She even left. It wasn't fair.

"That's a wrap for today people," Carlos yelled from the stage and she balled her hands into fists to keep them from shaking as it all sank in; then she picked up her discarded backpack from the floor, wiped away her tears with trembling fingers...and walked out the back exit.

Ricky saw her.

She thought she was being so stealthy, but he did. The last time they talked was at Ashlyn's party about a week ago when he tried to help and she flat out rejected him. He wasn't bitter about it. These days being rejected by girls he liked was commonplace for him. Not that he liked Gina, not romantically anyway, but she was his friend and he wanted to help. She just didn't want him to.

He initially thought she was kidding when she said she didn't see the point in him calling her anymore. Like it was one of those things people say in the heat of the moment, but don't really mean. He thought she meant it like that, so he gave her time to cool off, but when he tried calling her the next morning, she blocked his number.