Faded // Luke Hemmings

chapter 5

Tatum’s POV

The next few days after Luke stayed over were like clockwork. We smoked, we made out, we avoided talking about anything important, and then we went to sleep. I didn’t let him stay over another night-  it felt too intimate, like I was committing to something I wasn’t ready to put a label on yet. Relationships are something I’ve never managed to be good at; always saying and doing the wrong thing too often for anything to last long. Things with Luke, for now at least, felt somewhat effortless. There was nothing fake about it; as far as I could tell we just enjoyed each other’s company.

Yet, I couldn’t deny that it was apparent that our bodies both wanted more. Every time we’re together it seems that the temperature in the room rises just a little bit higher. Whether it’s lust or a genuine emotion, so far I can’t tell. I’ve never been good at deciphering what I’m feeling, all I know is that I enjoy the feeling of his lips on mine, and the world seems a bit duller when we aren’t together. Perhaps part of me is just infatuated with the aura of innocence he seems to radiate. I know the boy isn’t nearly as pure as I make him out to be, but it seems as if he’s always hiding behind a fear I can’t place.

I don’t know what I expected when Luke invited me over for a party, probably Daisy in an apron serving the boys ice cold beverages and baking cookies while they watched show tunes, but this wasn’t it. The small apartment is packed with people, the crowd so dense that it’s impossible to walk without bumping to someone. Stale smoke, reeking of skunk weed and Marlboro cigarettes, clings to the air with a vicious grip. Michael is probably on a high for sales and I’m suddenly glad I bought the last of his good stuff. Furniture is pushed up against the walls to create for space in the center, a giant stereo with multiple speakers playing music I couldn’t give less of a shit about, and red plastic cups littering almost every available surface. All the alcohol must have cost the boys a fortune.

My eyes scan the room for the tall blonde I’ve become so enamored with. Luke and I have become each other’s latest drugs, and it seems as if our cravings for each other are particularly insatiable. We longed for each other’s touch, the feeling of our skin pressed together better than any other high I’ve ever experienced. When his fingertips found my hips and drew shapes I can never seem to place, it’s like my whole body is set aflame. Growing up, everyone always makes a big deal about how when you kiss someone you should feel fireworks, an explosion of tingles throughout your body. With Luke it is more like a slow burn, my body heating more and more as his touch grows familiar, his lips against mine sending flows of molten lava through my veins.

The search is rather disappointing; I’m unable to locate anyone but Ash and his snobby girlfriend. Where Ashton and I have a mutual sort of respect for each other, Daisy and I have disdain. It’s blatantly obvious to everyone that there isn’t even a touch of fondness between us. Ashton is like a carefully guarded child when Daisy is around, her body tense and ready to fight anyone who makes a wrong move. It pisses me off, that she can’t see the way that she hides him from everything. Luke swears that Daisy makes Ashton feel normal, like he was before he went blind, but all I can think of when I see them together is the slow pain of suffocation.

With a sigh, I start pushing my way through the crowd. Luke is most likely hiding up in his room listening to some pop punk band I’ve never heard of. Every few seconds I hear a new comment, “watch where you’re going,” “who the hell is that girl,” and of course the not-so-occasional “hey baby, you come here with anybody?” All I can manage to do is laugh. Drunken idiots are the only thing I will ever need to rid myself of a bad mood.

Unfortunately, I know I won’t be able to spend very long mingling with the crowd. This party is an epileptic fit waiting to happen, too bright lights and too much sound and too much bumping around. It will take me less than twenty minutes to get unimaginably pissed off, and even less time for my brain to go haywire and tense every muscle in my body to the point of violent spasms. My appearance here is solely for the tall blonde I’ve been spending far too much time with.