Faded // Luke Hemmings

chapter 8

Luke’s POV

                “Jesus Christ.” I mumble, barely managing to catch Daisy as she trips in her attempts to meet me at the door. Tatum called an hour ago while I was still at work, begging me to help her and Quinn babysit Daisy. In a misguided attempt to get Daisy to stop moping, Tatum decided to get her roaring drunk. Obviously, it didn’t take her long to decide that she’d bitten off far more than she could chew.

                “Lukey Lukey Lukey!” I flinch, no one has called me Lukey since I was fifteen. It was always a nickname reserved for my parents and two older brothers, but it’s been almost six years since any of them have spoken to me. Thought she’s hanging over me in the most annoying possible way, I have to admit that the alcohol seems to have done the trick; Daisy looks happy. “Lukey what I got!”  She laughs obnoxiously at her stupid pun, clearly think she’s some sort of fucking comedian, as she lifts her arm and shows me the small section of wrist covered in plastic wrap.

                Tatum and Quinn appear in the living room as my eyebrows raise, Tate looking tired and annoyed while Quinn just looks mildly amused. “You let her get a tattoo?” My voice is laced with shock.

                I’ve always seen Daisy as the conservative type; she’s quiet and hates standing out. The only time she makes herself known is when someone gives Ashton a look while she’s with him, and even then she’s just short of intimidating. Her fiercly protective nature is something I’ve always admired about her, but now I can’t help but view it as a shit attempt to make up for her colossal fuck up. With the reveal of what happened with Calum, everything I thought I knew about Daisy was flushed down the drain.

                Tatum scowls at me. “Relax, I didn’t let her dick Ashton’s dick tattooed into the palm of her hand, okay? She actually wanted a decent tattoo, and she’s too much of a pussy to get it done sober, so I let her tag along on my appointment.” She grins devilishly, like she knows what she just said will displease me.

                My eyes widen as I finally notice the wrap on her shoulder. I’m about to make a comment when Daisy thrust her now-wrapping-free wrist into my face. “Look! It’s my family!” On her wrist are five tall marks, the skin around them still crimson with irritation. Vaguely,  I remember that she has three siblings and parents somewhere, though we’ve never met them. I assume she got the tally’s to symbolize them, and is just too drunk to explain. “You could get one too! One just like mine since you’re five years sober.”

                My body tenses tightly at Daisy’s words. Worry is ripping through my body so fast I might lose control. Why the fuck do people always have to open their mouths when they’re plastered? Telling Daisy about my past, or more so letting Ashton tell her, may have been a colossal mistake. The look on Tatum’s face gets me thinking: my opinion of Daisy and my trust in her changed drastically when I learned about her secret. What’s to stop Tatum from changing her mind about me when she learns mine?

                “What is she talking about?” Tatum’s voice makes me flinch. For the most part it’s curious, but I read suspicion into it.

            Quinn catches my eye as she opens her mouth and I plead with her silently to keep this hidden. My past is my secret, and Quinn was there to watch me pull myself out of it. She looks conflicted, but I’m flooded with relief when she speaks. "Don’t even listen to her Tate. She’s positively hammered. I’ll see if I can get her to pass out on the couch; you guys go relax in your room for awhile. I’m really not fond of the idea of watching you have another seizure." Tatum nods, looking thoughtful, but begins to lead me back into the bedroom anyways.

"WAIT!" Daisy wails. The sound of her voice takes any and all self control away from me. I turn around in a flash, shooting her a look that could kill, but she just keeps running her mouth. "But we would all be so proud of you! It would have multiple meanings too. Five years clean from the drugs and five years out of juvi."

I swear to god my blood runs cold. The panic I feel, I’m certain, is worse than any panic that Tatum has ever felt when she knows a seizure is about to strike. My eyes drift toward her, and the look on her face tears me in two. Her eyes are wide, confused and hurt and angry, and she’s slowly backing away from me. “Tate, please…” I mutter, grabbing her hand. She shoves me away violently.

"Don’t fucking call me that!" She yells, her voice and body shaking with force. Her eyes are wild with panic, and I’m terrified that soon I will once again be holding her head in my lap while she quakes. "Tell me what she’s talking about, Luke. Now!"

"Tatum it’s okay -" Quinn tries to speak, but Tatum turns to her with so much venom it could kill.

"Don’t fucking defend him!" Tears are streaming down her face in earnest, making her eyes impossibly bluer than I’ve ever seen them. I hate myself for thinking of how beautiful she looks when she cries. "What the fuck have you all been keeping from me?!"

I stand stock still, unable to speak. My worst nightmare is coming true before my eyes, and I can feel everything falling to pieces. Quinn is the one who finally has to speak. She tells Tatum about the cocaine, the fuck up I used to be. She tells her about the man I beat for a few bucks, all because I needed a new high. She tells her about my ten month stint in juvi, but when she tries to tell Tatum about Ashton trying to help me, she’s cut off.

"Get out." Tatum whispers, closing her eyes. She’s shutting down, forcing back tears and swallowing deeply. "All of you just get out."

"Baby, please. I’ve changed!" My voice is pleading. I can’t lose her. Not like this and not ever. Not after all I’ve done to change and rebuild. "You have to listen to me. I love you!"

A foolish part of me thinks that will soften her, but of course it doesn’t. This is Tatum, who is hard and cold and hates to be lied to.

"Well I don’t love you!" Tatum snaps. I never knew words could leave wounds. "You’re a fucking liar and I can’t believe I ever let myself trust you. Everyone has been helping you dodge the bullet for weeks! All of you can just get the fuck out. NOW."

"Aww c’mon Tatum." Daisy whines, completely oblivious to what she’s done. Her voice is still chipper, albeit slurred. "Little Lukey didn’t do nothing wrong. He just didn’t want to hurt you."

Her words make sense, but that doesn’t seem to matter. “Like you were trying not to hurt Ashton?! Look how that turned out for you!” Everyone forgets to breathe for a moment. Tatum’s eyes go wide as she watches Daisy’s fill with tears. “Please just go… All of you. Just get out.”

Quinn grabs Daisy in her arms, holding her close as she sobs. There is nothing short of confusion on her face; she has no idea how this all went downhill so quickly. I stand my ground, watching them part without so much as a word.

Ashton and Daisy are their own mess, but I don’t want to give up the way they did. No matter how much Tatum wants to deny it, what we have is real and genuine and I won’t let it go. Not without her hearing me out.

"Please, baby." I beg, tears forming in my eyes. This can’t be happening. There is an actual pain in my chest; a hurt that’s unimaginable. "Just let me explain."

Tatum shakes her head, backing even further away from me. “Please just go. I need time to think.”

Worry floods through me; I don’t wan her to be alone under this kind of stress, but I will not tell Tatum how to live her life. She is strong, but I am fast growing weaker. “Okay…” My voice is not my own, my body taking me towards the door without my asking it too. When I reach the doorway, my body is shaking with held in sobs. “I love you…”

She doesn’t say it back.