Faded // Luke Hemmings

chapter 7

Luke’s POV

                My mind is plagued. The events of the last week are almost too overwhelming for me to even begin to process. My night with Tatum was amazing, wonderful in all the ways I never thought we would have. Her little fucking outfit had been quite the surprise, but god had she looked good. I’m convinced her mission in life is to kill me, but I can’t even say I mind. Not to mention, I seemed to have gotten her back. There has never been anything more beautiful than the look on her face from the pleasure I’d given her.

                And then there had been Michael to ruin it. His reminder of a past I so desperately want to forget had stung. His bringing it up in front of Tatum was even worse. There is no telling how she would react to the person I was, Tatum is simply too unpredictable. I’ve already lost my family over my mistakes, and I can’t bear the mere thought of losing her after all I’ve done to change.

                But even the near slip of my most guarded secret wasn’t the worst. The worst had been seeing Tatum fall while I stood at the top of the stairs. My legs wouldn’t take me to her quickly enough. Time seemed to slow as I ran to her, scooping her up carefully in my arms and crushing her against me, cradling her head so she couldn’t hurt herself. There has never been a more terrifying moment in my life. Watching someone have a seizure is like watching an earthquake. Watching Tatum having a seizure was like having the ground ripped out from under me. Pure terror was written all over her face, mixed with undisguised blame. There was nothing I could do to help, and Daisy bore the brunt of the anger that spurred from my guilt.

                Fucking Daisy… More than anything, I want to be angry with her, to hate her even, but I can’t bring myself to actually do it. She’s too pitiful, hulled up in Tatum’s apartment. I think she just wants to be near Ashton, but it’s not good for her, or any of us for that matter. Tatum is quickly losing her patience, thought to her credit she has been surprising gentle through that whole thing.

                I think that’s the most shocking thing. Daisy and Tatum are almost acting like friends. It’s a relief and a curse. Now that Ashton and Daisy are broken up, their getting along doesn’t seem quite so important. Though I suppose since they’re basically living together, it’s still a good thing. But I’m glad at least someone is here to comfort the petite blonde. More than once in the past days Daisy has expressed that she feels like she’s lost everyone, and I guess in a way she has.

                Today is the first day I’m actually making an effort to talk Ash. I know him well enough to give him time alone for a while. Yet, when I enter his room, it’s worse than I expected to be. Sometime in my absence, he’s absolutely destroyed it. Almost everything is scattered across the floor, posters torn down and holes in the walls. But Ashton is worse. His sightless eyes are rimmed with red and his face is puffy. His knuckles are bruised and bloodied.

                “Whoever it is, get the fuck out.” Ashton’s voice is hoarse, whether from crying or yelling or lack of use I just can’t tell.

                “Jesus, Ash.”  I mutter, forcing my voice to sound light. I want to yell at him, to tell him and Daisy a like to stop fucking moping and get back together or move on. “You look like shit.”

                “Thanks dick.”

                “You really did a number on your room.”

                “Yeah?!” He snaps, sightless eyes filled to the brim with tears of anger. “Well, I wouldn’t fucking know, now would I?” He’s always like this. With Ashton, the world is always a darker and shittier place because he’s blind.