Arthur Morgan | OneShots

Panic attack

Warnings: panic attack
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Panic attack
You'd been in the gang for quite some time now

You were used to killing
You should have been used to killing...

But as you found yourself trying to calm your escalating breaths, you had started to doubt that you were used to all this. You had found a nice spot just outside of camp where you could hide from everyone until this panic passed
They couldn't see you like this...

Weak
Pathetic

Today you had been jumped by a group of O'Droscols. You had come out of it with only a few scratches, but it was all the killing you had applied that had caused you to end up in such a state.

Your breathing staggered and hitched. You shut your eyes tightly as the panic increased.

It will be over soon
You thought
It had to be over soon...

Your hands started to sweat, shaking vigorously as you let a small whimper escape your lips, which were dry and sore.

Just a few more minutes
That's all..

The tree you were leaning on felt cold and rigid against your aching back. You sat forward, wrapping your arms around your legs and burying your face into your knees.

As if things couldn't get much worse, you heard a voice calling your name.

"Y/n?" Arthur called, his voice was hushed, only a whisper

You covered your mouth with your hand, trying to silence your already unsteady breathing.

You heard him holler once again.
This time he was louder

"Y/n!?"

You pressed yourself up against the tree trunk, trying to make yourself as small as possible.

He can't see me like this
You panicked.

"Y/n are you out there?" His voice suddenly had a sense of desperation... a sense of concern maybe?

You started to panic more now, you couldn't let anyone see you like this... especially not Arthur.

What would he think if he saw you in such a state? You winced at the thought, not even realizing that you let out a small sob.

You shut your eyes, tighter this time
You could hear Arthur's soft, yet heavy footsteps stop beside you.
You waited for him to laugh, for him to walk away and leave you there. However, this was Arthur, you couldn't imagine him being that cruel.

"Are you okay y/n" he asked, kneeling down beside you.
"Are ya hurt?"

You didn't say anything, you couldn't, if you spoke now, the tears would start to flow.
A moment of silence passed, then another, and another, until you couldn't handle it any longer. The tears began to well. Your sobs came on slow at first, they were quiet, silenced with your hand, until you couldn't conceal them any longer.

Suddenly you felt Arthur's hand hesitantly hovering over your shoulder. At first you wanted to move away, but a part of you said don't.
As if he was almost asking for permission to comfort you, his hand stayed hovering above your shoulder. You could feel the warmth of his hand as it flowed onto your skin.
You nodded your head, letting him know it was okay, and he slowly rested his hand across your shoulder blade.

"You're going to get through this" he whispered.
You nodded weakly, acknowledging his attempt to relax you.

The two of you sat there for a bit, and slowly your sobs turned into quiet hiccups.
After a few moments passed, Arthur spoke.

"Would you like me to leave now?"
You shook your head.

"Please don't go.." you whispered, your voice hoarse and quiet.

You hadn't realized that you had begun to move closer to him, and as if it was a thing you two had shared since day one, he pulled you in, closer and closer until you were in his lap.
You rested your head against his chest, and he laid his head on the top of yours.

Some time passed, you had nearly fallen asleep when he spoke again.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

You shook your head. Not now, maybe some other time, but for now you just wanted to forget.

"Arthur?" You looked up at him

"Yes?"

"Can you- can you stay with me tonight?" You begged rather than asked.

"Of course"

You reached up and placed your hand on his chest, just below his collarbone that had been showing through his unbuttoned over-shirt. You would have never done that under any other circumstance, but it felt like the right move to make.

"Thank you" you whispered.

Then in the shortest amount of time, you and Arthur had fallen asleep under a big oak tree just outside of camp.