The Untold Truth

19

I grabbed the letter and put it back in the envelope. I started to think a place where Grayson will never find it .
I don't want to burn or make this letter disappear completely bcs maybe I'll show it to him when he's mentally , emotionally & physically stabled .

I hid it where no one will ever think that the letter was there .... see how I didn't make sense there ? Yeah that's bcs I'm not going to tell no one where I hid it , that'll be my little secret .

Wow everything this passed month has been crazy , I obviously knew our life's where you g to change but I would never have thought the magnitude of it .

A month ago we where still in New Jersey , going to school & making video . Grayson & Vanessa were together and were so happy. Sometimes is hard to believe Vanessa is actually gone.

I miss her honestly, I try to be strong with Grayson but it still hurts & no don't think wrong there was obviously nothing between me and Vanessa other than friendship . I actually met her first & instantly we became best friends .

So just imagine loosing your best friend ? Yeah now you see the pain I'm also feeling. But also is no where near as bad as the pain Grayson feels I mean she was his soulmate & he lost her.

I don't know what to do with Grayson no more , idk how to help him .

I try to make him happy , I try to make him go out enjoy life , have fun with friends , meet new people but everywhere he goes & everything he does just reminds him of Vanessa .

Maybe as time passes he'll realize that she really gone & he has to move on . I mean it's only been a month after all .

Graysons POV

I was laying down on the couch as the silence & darkness filled the room.

Ethan always tells me I have to move on but how can I ? She's not here with me anymore so I see no point in life .

I know Ethan is trying to help me but I don't think he understands me . I don't know what I'm going to do without her .

Sometimes is just wish I could go with her .... she's dead so I want go be too! I want to be with her , this is not life if she's not going to be with me to live it .

Vanessa's POV
It's been weeks now since I send the letter and I got no response ..... but igs its what I deserved .

I mean what did I expect ? Him come running back to me as if I didn't push him out completely out my life .

He probably read the letter and didn't care or maybe he just didn't believe me and then again I don't blame him. I mean he obviously lost all the trust he had on me .

I wonder what would've of happened if I had told him that day at the airport ..... igs I'll never know cuz the "what if's " don't exist .

Igs it's finally time for me to move on , let my passed go , live my present and focus on my future .

I'll always rememeber Grayson and I hope he does too .... but for now on it's just my baby, Zac and me.
@dolantwins.obsesssion

Vanessa's POV

It's time to move on it's time for new beginnings, I can't keep living in my past I have to learn to live my present and look forward to the future .

"How are you ? Have you gotten an answer ?" Zac asked as he entered my room and sat next to me

"No." I said plainly not wanting to talk about it because it hurt me .

"I told you , you had to tell him as soon as you found out ...." he said putting his arm around me

"I was scared Zac ! Plus you know my reasons !"

"Yeah i know ..... look maybe he's just ..... busy doing stuff in LA , after all he's a YouTuber their life ain't as easy as we all think " Zac said trying to comfort me and make me feel better but no matter what he said the truth was that Grayson didn't care but then again I don't blame him .

"It's time to move on Zac , it's time for me to stop thinking about my past , is time for me to stop crying and wanting what I know I can't have and most importantly is I need to start living my present and focusing on my future , our future "

"If that's what makes you happy then I'm with you but if you would go to LA and try to find him ......i don't know just see him in person that way you can get a better answer than just silence "

"No! I don't know where he lives ! What am I going to do ? Just go to LA and what? Ask people "Hey do you know where Grayson Dolan lives " , it's over " I said getting a little frustrated it .

Even tho I knew what Zac was saying what was "the right thing to do " But i still had no fucking idea on how to find him neither did I have the money to go and look for him , I know Zac would give me the money but I don't want to accept anything from him anymore he's done too much for me.

"The past is in the past and it stays there I made a wrong decision yes ! 100% I did but did I try to fix it ? Yes ! And it didn't work then I feel less guilty and guess what is not all my fault anymore, now that chapter has closed and is time to move on and if you keep talking about it Zac, you're not going to help me get out of the dark whole I'm in" i said look straight to Zacs eyes as mine got watery

"Hey hey hey shhh.... don't worry beautiful I'm with you , and if you want it like that then fine the past is in the past. " he said as he hugged me tight which made me feel a little more safe and warm .

"But hey , what about when your baby is older and asks you about her dad ?" Zac asked making my heart stopped as I didn't know what was my answer to that question.

What am I going to say to my baby !? Do I lie ? No..... that's not fair ..... but do I ...... she/he deserves to know who her/his dad is but how do I tell her/him without hurting her/him !?