X TROS Spoilers X Saying Goodbye

Unspoken Beginnings

The clapping felt thunderous and the cheers of the people around her were deafening , as Rey stepped down into the throng of people, she felt peace. Her victory was already spreading far and wide as people spoke the word of Rey Skywalker, the Jedi who struck down Palpatine in her final moments before the world went dark.
Rey was swarmed with emotions, joy, energy, pride, strength; but beneath it, she couldn't deny the looming sadness. The deep mourning which clouded her emotions. As she smiled to the people, her face a stoic mask of victory, she silently fought back the tears. She felt the tickle of a single creeping down her cheek, a single sign of the internal war raging in her brain. To them; it probably looked like tears of joy, but to her, it marked the loss of so many people around her. A hole in her heart she could not deny.

"REY! We did it!!" Finn, a kind eyed man, roughly embraced her. She sniffed and quickly wiped the tear away with her sleeve as she pulled back from him.

"Don't cry, we did it, you did it. You beat the first order, you led us to victory. You beat Ren and his army." Poe interjected, his sentiment was kind, but his words opened the flood gates. Tears fell freely down her face.

"Don't cry Rey, we should celebrate, you did this for Leia, you avenged her, she wouldn't want you to cry for her." Finn placed a hand on her shoulder. She nodded briskly to him.

"You're right, she would be proud." She affirmed. Shifting the stuffed full bag at her side over her head, she smiled tightly to her friends. "I need to go put my things away, maybe get some water."

Poe reached for the bag she gripped white knuckled like it was her only worldly possession left "here let me take it for you! You should celebrate." Reys quickly snatched the bag away out of his reach and clutched it to her body. Poe looked started and Reys eyes quickly widened.

"I'm sorry, i guess I'm still a little shaken up, I don't mean to be defensive. Really, I'll take care of it, I need a minute to myself anyways." Finn regarded her with confusion.

Quickly she brushed past them and towards the small hut past the crowd. They cheered as she quickened her pace.
Slamming the wooden door she embraced the darkness and cold inside the small room, she took a deep breathe and moved through the home, into the back bedroom, to sit on the bed in the corner. She fell onto the soft surface, the tears blinding her once again. She let them fall as she held the bag.
After a few moments she sat up, pulling the burlap bag into her lap, she opened the top, grasping the mass of black material she'd hurriedly shoved into it only hours prior.
Pulling out the robe, she tossed the bag to the floor beside her. The material was oddly soft in her hands, she hadn't imagined it would feel the way it did. Like silk, but even nicer. It made sense that he could have the best of the best.
She couldn't help noticing the hole in the material, the place where her lightsaber had burned through when it pierced his torso. She ran her figured over the melted edges of the material and couldn't help noticing the dry blood that flaked off onto her white pants.
Her sobs came from deep within her chest as her heart ached in a way she had only felt during conversations of her parents. Slowly she lifted the robe to her face, as it caressed her cheeks she breathed in deep, like it was life saving oxygen. She savored the smell that still lingered, sweat, blood, power, beyond that; musk and alcohol. The robe soaked up her tears and she let her mind wander.
She cried for Leia yes, but she cried harder for Ben. For the goodbyes she didn't get to say, for the man who disappeared in her arms and the words she might never get to say.

Her world was dark as she held the black garment over her face, her breath caught when she felt a faint trace of fingers across her hair, a hand settling on her shoulder.
Shock rocked her as she quickly balled the rob up and pulled it away from her face, expecting Poe or Finn to stand before her. But there was nothing; only darkness. She glanced around the pitch black room and faintly heard

"Rey...." her voice was caught in her throat
"Ben?" She whispered so quietly she could barely hear herself.
The feeling of the hand returned and the air before her eyes seem to ripple; suddenly she was staring into the soft brown eyes that she had seen when she opened hers after returning from the brink of death.
"Ben" she hiccuped again.
"Please do not cry for me," he spoke softly, if it weren't for the faint translucence, it would be as though he knelt before her.
"You're gone..." she sobbed heavily
"I may be gone," he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear that had escaped the pins it was held back with "but I will always be with you, in the air, in spirit, in the force. You'll feel me wherever you go."

She wanted to wrap her arms around him, but knew that the Spector she was seeing was Untouchable. She blinked, her mind blank of words to say. She had so many things, but such short time.

"You're strong, and you'll continue to fight, you'll live on to be the best you can be, and someday you'll pass your wisdom onto the next. Keep fighting Rey; for me" she nodded,
"I promise Ben." Her voice cracked.

Leaning forward, she felt his lips once again press to hers, it felt as thought he were really there, in the room. She felt his arms embrace her once again and smelt the musk and cologne surround her.
She shifted her weight as his lips caressed hers and brought her arm up to wrap around his neck. But Instead it cut through the air and fell to her side. Opening her eyes she was alone.
A renewed sense of power and strength wrapped her mourning heart, and she rose from the bed. Taking a breath she pushed the door open to the hut and stepped outside in the setting light, the warm air invading her lungs. Finns soft voice broke through the sounds of celebration.

"Rey?" He approached, a hand blocking the sun "Rey.... are you ok? Truthfully, did something else happen there? To you?" She looked up through her eyelashes at him
"Something's are better left unspoken" she said surely.
"What was in that bag Rey?" A concerned look cast over his face.
She smiled, this time with confidence "just something to keep a memory living on."
Finn looked confused, but like he knew he wasn't going to get the answers he wanted.
"You're strong Rey. Whatever you saw, or happened, you're stronger than it." he said. She nodded, placing a hand on his shoulder
"Let's go celebrate"

The force vibrated the air around her, she didn't know if Finn could feel it, but she could. He was there, surrounding her. Her lips still tingled