How can I trust you & tell you I love you
when you just hurt me all over again.
How can I know you mean everything?
•••
Things are going as expected
even though my expectations get killed,
this one is going just as my anxiety told me.
It's taking everything I've got to stop
the vices
you so sweetly taught me.
•••
I write with pen
and that is my opinion.
I write with pen
guided by my fingers
connected to my rough hand.
I write with a pen
for the simple reason
of meaning these words.
Strongly. Heartedly.
•••
You shouldn't let everything
get up your sleeve
or your skirt.
You shouldn't hide your feelings
just to fit in.
You shouldn't have to be the victim.
You can own it.
Take control of your actions.
•••
If you're going to leave
do it.
Do not falter,
I can't help
but be damaged
by my high expectations.
•••
Do it if you'd like
destroy me like no other
you have been my only
and if it takes this much pain
to make you happy
then let the tears in your eyes
be the beginning of the happiness
that you will plant in yourself.
with a smile.
BEING INDEPENDENT.
At first, it hurts just to the thought of it
Learning to live without him is not easy when he still calls you babygirl
I made it start simple at first. I didn't lie, I just didn't say much. I kept my opinions to myself as much as I could. I'm not meaning to be coldhearted, it was never my intention to be. But by the way things are going, my opinion is it isn't going to get any better. So here I am, learning to live without you. And this time it's true, everything I say is true. I think that is what is gonna hurt you the most. But I'm not happy, & I won't be, if I am it's only for a couple of minutes and it's gone.
Love is something really hard to be independent from.
Only some people are brave enough to live without it.
LETTING GO.
No one ever truly lets go of what they love, no one is brave enough to. Wether it is an object, a person, or a moment. Their bond is never really gone from our lives.
Letting go is one of the biggest challenges in my life.
A friend that I don't talk to anymore is much more different than a boy who stole my heart & did not give it back.
when the choice is made and our bodies part different ways is when I start to lose myself. It starts with my heart, lightly beating in my chest. And it works up to my throat, tightening off any word I want to say. It ends with my brain making short scenes of all the scenarios you could be in.
& it all happens in 2 seconds. As I work myself into taking a breath and feel relief in letting it go
BEING TRUE.
Last year my biggest fear was showing people who I really was.
This year I am not afraid to be myself. It's either you like me or you don't.
Being honest is about being truthful, it is in the word itself.
Life has made me so cold & numb. I don't give two shits if you don't like me, if you don't then it's settled. Move on.
I have many friendships, but only some are true. Maybe 2 out of 7 are true, it's that complicated to find somebody who understands you.
I won't pour myself into somebody I don't know, because that would be childish.
