Thank Sir Jesus Christ the 5th himself, it was finally the weekend. I planned to spend this weekend doing as little social interaction as possible, as always, the perfect way to spend any and all of my time. I booted up my windows 98 gaming laptop from 1820 and opened the fastest web browser known to man, the custom google search bar from the 2018 version of the old version of the osu! website. I wasnt quite sure what i wanted to do first today but i guessed youtube would be a good place to start. Once the page loaded, straight away a banger looking ass mofo recomended video popped up, asmr giraffe cutting soap. Ive been a big fan of the creator of this series, EpicGaymerSwagASMR, for almost as long as he's been uploading videos. However i hadn't had much time to watch his fucking incredible, breathtaking content for a while now so it was a good time to catch up.
After 4 hours worth of various animals doing various things in front of varying qaulity microphones, i decided that was probably enough asmr for one day. Now i needed something productive to do. Hmmmmm, how about playing some porn games? I pulled out my VR headset from the cupboard along with the HDMI to PS/2 adapter so that it could work with my 200 year old laptop. I decided to start with a timeless classic, "sweet diggity dog, i am fucking a literal dog." I put the floppy disk into the side of the laptop and after i had finished extinguishing the fire the cpu had caused from overheating, i took out the fleshlite with a special dog shaped cover [this is so fucked please dont send me to jail.] However just as it was being pulled out of the drawer my buffoon of a mother stormed into the room.
"WATANABE WHAT THE FORK ARE U DOING CAAANT!¡!" She squeeked.
"Isnt it kinda obvious? Im studying for college." I seductivly replied.
"Oh ok. For a second i thought u were playing the VR porn game "sweet diggity dog, im fucking a literal dog" on your windows 98 gaming laptop from 1820."
"Of course not ya blind fokking mongoose."
"Oi watch the language or ill clean your eye sockets out with soap mr."
"Yessss mom."
After that she left the room and didnt come back until the next day. However for right now, it was only 1pm and i had lots to get done. [The rest of this scene was omitted for your mental health, you can thank me later]
Well that was a good way to spend 6 hours. I felt quite fulfilled. But i still had some stuff i wanted to do. Now, not many people know this about me, but i have a secret stash of stolen underwear i hide inside my RAIDMAX Ninja II ATX-A06WBO Black / Orange Steel / Plastic ATX Tower Computer Case. Its a passion and hobby of mine to photograph these pairs of underwear and post them to reddit to get some mega internet points and clout. However to my absolute shock, when i opened my RAIDMAX Ninja II ATX-A06WBO Black / Orange Steel / Plastic ATX Tower Computer Case, there was none there. Someone had fucking stolen my mother fucking stolen panties. I screeched "COCKNBALLSSSSS" at the top of my lungs until i calmed down. Fuck. This wasnt good. I dont know what to do. Wtf should i do????
To be continued ---->
(*roundabout plays*)
