The Tension Between Us

Chapter Ten - BeepBeep

- EDDIE'S POV -

Eddie didn't think he had ever run so hard in his life, his lungs burned, his legs ached, and his path was blurred from tears. They knew, they all knew, it was out and there was nothing he could do about it, he could still see the shocked faces of all of his friends, Richie's regret, Bill's sudden understanding, Mike's panic as his mind raced for a way he could help, but he couldn't, any sane person would know it. He didn't know what to say, and he didn't want to hear what they had to say about it, so he ran, out of fear. He ran because he knew he couldn't handle whatever rejection would be thrown his way. His heart was beating so fast it was throbbing in his ears, and he felt as though if he stopped he might just throw it up. He flew past the camp, grabbing his backpack and making his way to the forest edge, by the barrens and the open sewer, which still made him feel dizzy whenever he passed it. He could hear Richie and the rest of the losers calling his name through the trees, hear their swift footsteps on his tail and it only made him move faster. He couldn't handle the rejection, the change, he wasn't ready, and all his brain could focus on was awful horrible things blaring past any reason.
They hate you, his mind screamed, you better run because they hate you and they want you dead, just like Bowers, just like Pennywise.
He clumsily mounted his bike and pushed off down the road just as his friends emerged from the shrubbery.
"Eddie!"
They all call through pants, getting on their own bikes as they try to call him to stay,
"Please Ed's just wait a minute!"
Ben calls, the rest not far behind with hollers of their own,
"We just wanna t-t-talk Eddie!"
Bill yells out, but Richie calls over the buzz,
"Just stay here! I'll go."
He says to them, and then Eddie looses track of the words as he gets out of ear shot. He's heading for no place in particular, tears clinging to his cheeks and making them cold. Eddie didn't know what to feel, he was angry and terrified and he could hardly breathe, all he wanted was his best friend to kiss him again and make some stupid joke to lift his spirits, even though that same best friend just accidentally outed him to all of their friends. He knew it wasn't Richie's fault, but that big dumbass needed to learn when to shut his fucking mouth.
He ended up at the old Derry park, the one near the big outdoor theatre and the Paul Bunyan statue where all of the Losers first talked about the happenings of Pennywise after meeting Mike, back in 89'. He felt sour at the memory, but dumped his bike and bag on the dirt anyway and wheezily sat down, the soft grass feeling fuzzy because of the alcohol in his system. He lays down with his hands resting on his stomach, looking up at the the stars, which looked blurry and glazed. After a moment of catching his breath, the reality really hits him, and he sobs silently on his own, lifting his shaky hands up to press them against his eyes.
This goes on for a few minutes before he calms down and just lays there, breath hitched and lip shaking. His eyes are so glassed over with liquid that the sky only turns into a swirly mess of blue and white above him.
"Ed's?"
He sits up in a flash and wips his head around to an exasperated Richie, puffing with red cheeks, his bike on the ground a little ways behind him. He was so caught up in his own mind he hadn't heard his best friends arrival.
"Go away Richie, just leave."
He slurs harshly, standing unsteadily with an angry expression. Richie looks so scared and fragile, his loud and boisterous persona completely evaporated as he stands there, brain working in a million different directions. He takes a moment to think before opening his mouth for once,
"I'm really sorry."
He starts carefully,
"I'm sorry about what I said, I'm sorry I didn't just shut my mouth, "
He rushes,
"And I'm sorry I kissed Stan, it wasn't fair, I know that, I was just sad and angry and I wanted to hurt you. But that wasn't the way to handle it and I should have just waited for you. It was just a kiss Ed's."
He waits a second before adding,
"But it wasn't just a kiss when I kissed you."
Eddie almost immediately softens at the words, holding his gaze for a second before looking to his feet.
"This is ridiculous, I'm supposed to be angry at you, I'm supposed to hate you, "
He says, words slower through his tipsy state, he looks up again,
"but for some fucking reason I don't."
Richie doesn't say a word, just listens with wide eyes as Eddie steps closer to him, reaching for Richie's hand and holding it with both of his, soft fingers brushing over the details, the rings, the chipped polish, the rough skin from years of skating and guitar.
He studies them as he continues.
"I have control over every aspect of the way I am, everything I do, I do knowing why I'm doing it."
He laughs thickly,
"But with you everything is messy, it's all over the place and I have no idea where I'm going, no idea what you're thinking, and it's infuriating because I usually do, I usually know everything about you."
He says frustratedly,
"But I can't tell what you're thinking anymore Richie, we're not thirteen and we're not the same people we were, trying to figure this out makes me feel like I'm going insane."
He says weakly, looking up into the hiding eyes that are Richie Tozier's,
"And the weird part is that I like it, I like being out of control with you, I like you. Being with you makes me feel like maybe shit isn't gonna turn out like a tragedy all the time."
He takes a breath, angry with himself,
"I said what I said because I liked the secret world we were in, I liked having control over that at least, control over who knew and who saw. I could keep it contained so I didn't have to think about what it meant, didn't have to admit how much I wanted you or think of the consequences. And I-"
He lets a few angry tears slip but wipes them away with the back of his sleeve,
"I'm sorry too, Chee."
He whispers, Richie nodding a little and sniffling a bit as he looks down so his fringe hides his glassy eyes.
"I'm just really scared."
Eddie adds with a broken twinge to his voice, thinking about what he had to face now that his friends all knew.
Richie quickly pulls Eddie into a hug, wrapping his arms around the boy's small waist, Eddie's coming up and around Richie's neck, face burying into his neck. The smell of his cologne was comforting and he felt himself relax into the embrace, letting out a breath he'd been holding. Richie was squeezing him tight, like if he let go Eddie would disappear,
"You don't need to be scared Eddie, the loser's love you, that's not gonna change."
He says into Eddie's hair. The short boy doesn't respond, just pulls away from the hug slightly to meet Richie's eyes, placing his hands on the boys pale cheeks, a thumb running over the cut that rests there.
He's almost instantly distracted, and bypasses the drama out of instinct as worry fills him up,
"What happened?"
He mumbles,
"Was it Bowers? I swear I'll kill that asshole one day. Did you disinfect it? You could get a serious infection if you just leave it like that Richie, I mean have you heard of what happened to-"
Richie grins,
"Beep beep, Ed's."
He says softly, looking down at his friend fondly. Said boy's eyes widen as he's taken aback,
"Did you just beep beep me?"
He asks, astonished, the smallest of smiles creeping up through the frown.
Richie shrugs, and leans down to kiss him, shutting him up before he can say anything else, and his eyes flutter closed as he melts into it. It's slow and full of feeling, Eddie shifting his hands behind Richie's head to pull him closer, tugging at the dark curls. Richie tightens his arms around Eddie's waist, forcing to boy to edge up onto his tippy toes. It's a deep kiss, and Eddie can taste the dried tears on Richie's lips.

"Jesus fuck."
They break apart and turn to see an exhausted Mike, and the rest of their friends, except Stan and Bill for some unknown reason.
"Do you even know how worried you made us?"
He says, exasperated, not really taking much care to the fact that the two were just making out. The whole group is huffing and puffing as they dump their bikes, and Eddie and Richie are taken aback at the reaction.
Mike just walks over and wraps the small boy into a tight hug, lifting him off the ground, Bev doing the same to Richie, her eyes watering like she's about to cry as she punches him in the gut, hissing,
"Asshole."
before squeezing him tight with a relieved breath into his chest.
Ben and Kimmy soon join in on the hugs.
"You guys know you were missing for an hour right? We went all around town to find you."
Kimmy says, now holding Eddie so tight she might just break him.
Mike looks mad, but in the terrified way which Mike got, it was the only type of angry he could really be.
"Never do that again."
He says to Eddie, before softening and hugging him again with a sigh.
Eddie smiles a little,
"Sorry Mikey."
He mumbles as they pull away.
Eventually they all stand around in silence, Bev still holding Richie's arm with a protective iron grip and a frown, like if she let go Richie would ride off into the night and never come back.
"So I guess some of you have some questions." Eddie says awkwardly, the others, all except Mike, waiting for a continuation.
He takes a deep breath, looking to Richie briefly before explaining.
"I am gay. And I ran, because I didn't want you all to hate me, though I guess it sounds a little stupid now."
He shrugs.
Ben smiles softly and steps over to Eddie to bring him into another hug,
"You're right, it was stupid."
This makes Eddie smile as he hugs back, Ben pulling away and kimmy replacing him,
"The stupidest."
She adds, her hair smelt like watermelon and her skin like coconut, bringing a warmth to her presence.
"And you trashmouth?"
Ben turns to the tall boy, who tilts his head in confusion, Ben rolls his eyes and elaborates,
"I'm not the most experienced when it comes to this kind of thing, but I'm pretty sure best friends don't kiss like that."
Bev snorts out laughter and both Eddie and Richie turn auburn, he'd almost completely forgotten they'd been caught red handed, and he only turns to Richie and awaits his reply.
The ravenette teen is wide eyed, and he glances at Eddie before sighing,
"You know what? Fuck it, yeah I'm bi, moving on, nothing to see here."
He says, waving Ben off and walking over to lace his and Eddie's fingers together.
Their friends only smile at them as Eddie looks to his shoes, he can feel the heat in the tips of his ears at the contact.
Richie then notices something, looking to Mike,
"I gotta say Mikey you look less surprised than you should."
The tall boy only laughs,
"Eddie told me, I know everything."
He shrugs, Eddie smiling guiltily as Richie looks at him with raised brows,
"Well, I told Bev so I guess we're even."
He says slyly, the redhead laughing loudly,
"He didn't tell me shit, I figured it out because he told me he was gay, and I saw the god damn hickeys on Eddie's neck after the party last week. You know you guys are awful at hiding things, right?"
She snickers, Eddie gaping at her, flustered as ever as the rest of them cackle.
"So that's where you two went."
Ben says, a wide smile on his face.
"Oh shut up."
Eddie snaps, instinctively retreating into Richie's side. The air is lighter now, and the relief lies in Eddie's chest as he watch his friends laugh, and when he looks up to Richie's perfect face, he's wearing a similar expression, the weight finally being lifted from their chests.
Eddie may not have much control over tonights events and how they went down, but he felt happy it was over for the most part, that he didn't have to pretend anymore. After a second Eddie remembers his and Richie's best friends and his brows draw in.
"Where are Stan and Bill?"
He asks, Bev frowning in worry,
"Stan freaked out after you two left, kept saying it was his fault, and tried to ride off too in the opposite direction, he would only listen to Bill, so they stayed while we searched."
Eddie looks up to Richie and sees the immediate concern fall over his face, he then looks to Eddie, who shares the worry.
"Shit, we have to go back there."
Richie mumbles, Eddie nodding in agreement as both of them get on their bikes, the others following quickly.

-
Short chapter, but I wanted the next one to be separated because it'll be the only chapter in Stan's POV, either way hoped you enjoyed the healing because there's still more angst to come hehe
-P🌲