Heartless Ending Book 3 of the Heartless Series

Chapter 9 - Guilt

Romeo's POV

A few days later, I got Luca-James up and ready for the day, I think this was the first time that I have ever done this in his short life, which sent a wave of guilt spread through my heart. I gave him a bath to which we covered the bathroom in water and bubbles with our water fight. Then we dressed both in a pale blue shirt and jeans with converse trainers, we matched, and we took some selfies to memorialise our bonding morning. Again guilt flooded over me at how long it took me to actually partake properly in his life, I promised myself that from now on, this was how I wanted to be with my son, yes the pain was still there, and yes the reminder was blatant but nothing that happened was his fault, but he bared the brunt of it and that wasn't fair.

He was such a good boy, polite and caring, thoughtful and kind. I guessed Melanie would take all the credit for this, but I knew the truth, she likes to think she has done it all herself, but I know most of it is Hannah's doing. Hannah was hired by me a few months after he was born, I wanted someone other than that conniving bitch looking after my son, someone that was competent and not self-centred and manipulative.

Hannah was a nice girl, shy but polite and respectful and she adored Luca-James. Her resumé was impressive, she had a degree in child development, child psychology and wanted to become a teacher before I snapped her up as his personal nanny. She devoted most of her time teaching him simple English and how to read, maths skills and colours, and not forgetting all the fundamentals that all children learn at a young age.

Around noon I was sitting in the living room reading the hungry, hungry caterpillar to my son as he sat quietly on my knee. Melanie stumbled herself around the doorframe dressed in her usual dress and heels combo with her hair up in a messy bun. "What are you doing with my son?" She demanded as she saw us together. "Are you sure he's your son?" I replied calmly, provoking her anger. "Of course he's my fucking son." I just shrugged and combed through his hair with my fingers. I'd had it styled like mine, shaved at one side and quaffed longer to the other side. "I wouldn't be so sure if I were you. The past has a nasty habit of coming back." She visibly gulped and looked scared but quickly masked the emotion as soon as it appeared on her face. "Thomas, come here." She commanded of the boy, but I wouldn't let him go. "No, he's going to the park today with Hannah." I stated menacingly calm. "No I won't allow it. He's coming shopping with me." She yelled as if she could overthrow my decision. I smirked at her trying to be confident. "I'm sure you and Roman will have a better time without a child to interrupt you." She looked shocked. "W-What do you mean?" She wasn't confident now, all her momentary bravado gone. "Oh, you didn't think I knew you were screwing one of my men. You forget Melanie, I know everything." She looked at the floor her breathing quickening. This amused me. "Carmela is dead. You saw it with your own eyes, when will you get that through your thick skull so we can be a family." I chuckled at her attempt to appeal to my better nature. "Melanie, we will never be a family. Now go to your lover and get out of my sight." She opened her mouth to reply but I silenced her with a look, and she started to leave the room. "Even if she is alive, I know something that will break her to her core." She threatened, thinking she won by getting the last remark in.

Hannah took Luca-James from me soon after that to get him ready for the park, she commented on how adorable we look matching to which we had a laugh about. I called Josh to tail them from the apartment, just to keep up appearances. I had spent yesterday watching from a safe distance to see if anyone was watching or following the duo when they left to run errands. After about 10 minutes I spotted her, she was in a long black coat with jeans and small heels on, her hair was down and back to its natural colour. She must have been wearing a wig the other day. She watched them laugh and smile together as he ran to collect the items Hannah had instructed him to get from her grocery list. Longing and sadness always present in her eyes, and occasionally a small smile if he did something silly or childlike.

After the store they went to the park, I had instructed Hannah to hang back a little bit, to see if Carmela would approach our son again. I watched him play myself, never having taken him to the park or really played with him before. After a short time I saw her figure step around a tree and take a seat on a bench just off to the left, near the sand pit. She pretended to read a book but never paid it any attention. There were a few other children playing on the park, but he mainly kept to himself and finally walked towards the sand pit and started digging. You could see her physically take a deep breath, he was so close to her but just so far away. Luca-James waved at her when he looked up to see her, recognising her instantly from previous meetings. Melanie never had a clue about any of these interactions, that was obvious. She was always too busy flirting with her toy to actually take care of my son.

I continued to watch them interact, to ashamed to approach them, she handed him a small piece of paper and stood. She looked directly at me for a few seconds not one bit of emotion on her face, before putting sunglasses on and walking quickly away. I had been made, I didn't even know she knew I was there, maybe she saw me yesterday and knew I'd be here again today watching out for her.

I approached my son and he instantly giggled when he saw me and came running over to my outstretched arms. I caught him and threw him in the air, his giggles became louder before shouting 'again, again', at the top of his lungs. "What did that lady give you?" I enquired. "She gave me this letter to give to you." He handed it to me and ran off to go play in the sand again as soon as I put him down. I took in a long breath and saw that a single piece of paper was rolled up, with her ring placed over the paper holding it all together. I slid the ring off the paper and opened it.

'To you I will never belong.'

Her words cut me to the bone, but I deserved them. I didn't expect her to ever forgive me for what I've done to her. I looked up to where she had disappear, behind a rose bush of all things. I sighed heavily, my heart longing for her.

"She hates me, doesn't she?" I said to the open air, knowing that he could hear me. "Yes she does." He replied to my question in a solemn voice. I nodded accepting the answer. "Thank you for taking care of her for me. You were always a good friend to me Timo, a good man. I'm sorry for how it all ended, just know it was never my intention. I'll never stop her from spending time with him if that's what she wants." I walked away to collect my son, not once turning to see his face, I knew he would be pissed at me, and again rightly so. I was undeniably a bad friend and husband to both of them, but being a bad father was something I could rectify and something I intended to do.

Carmela's POV

I knew he was there, I knew that he would use our son to find me, to draw me out of the shadows but I didn't care. Since I last encountered him, I had made up my mind, I didn't ever want to be with him again. I didn't care if my body yearned for him. I would never allow myself to be with him, but for now I would let him look after my son before I took him back. As I was punching the hell out of Leo who was training with me, I thought of a good way to hurt Romeo and hopefully it would give me closure to move on.

The note I wrote to him, twisted the vow we made to each other on our wedding day and I gave him back the ring. I saw his heart break as he scanned the note, but it didn't give me the enjoyment I thought it would. To be honest I just felt sad for him, for us, but I turned my back and walked away. I knew Timo would talk to him, but I knew he would be on my side always, he was disgusted with Romeo for what he did, but their brotherly bond wouldn't break that easily. I didn't know if that bothered me or not, I tried not to think about it too much. They had been through years of loyalty to each other. I decided then that no, it didn't bother me, Timo was his own man and he was the only one that could make that decision so there were no point in thinking about it.

I sat in Leo's car waiting for Timo, after he joined us, we drove back towards the airport we were leaving to go back to New York. The apartment I had purchased here was currently locked up tight and awaited for my next visit to Nevada. Until then I would wait and plan my next moves because after today, Romeo's days with my son were numbered the new year would see my reunion with my son. 12 days was all I had to wait.