Stranded with the Rockstar (Rockstar #1)

20. Sunny

I peer around the corner and see my dad at the kitchen table, staring down at a pile of paperwork—forms sent to us from the ranch's accounting firm. He's busy. I should just come back later. Besides, I just talked to Brett for three hours. Maybe I need a break anyway.

No. There is no 'later'. It has to be now. It's just Dad, so why am I so nervous? I can't shake this ominous feeling inside of me, though, like something really bad is about to happen.

"Dad? Can I talk to you?"

He looks at me over his eyeglasses and nods. "Of course, Roma. I thought you were at Brett's?"

I step fully into the room. "I was, but I need to tell you something."

My palms are sweating, and I have to stop myself from breathing heavily. This may the hardest conversation I've ever had to have. The last thing I want to do is disappoint him.

He notices. "What's wrong?"

I pull out one of the chairs and sit down, thinking that may calm my nerves. "Um...well I...I mean Brett and I...Actually it started last week—"

"Roma." He places his hands over mine—it helps me to focus on that. "Just tell me. Whatever it is."

"I called off the wedding," I say quickly. It immediately feels like a weight has been lifted.

I look up at him but can't decipher his emotions. At first, he seems upset, and then confused, and then doubtful, and finally...I don't know.

"Why, Roma? I thought you and Brett were happy."

"We were. I was. Brett does make me happy, and I care about him so much. But last week, it occurred to me that maybe I don't love him. I may not even know what love is."

He takes a deep breath. "What happened last week?"

I was really, really hoping he wasn't going to ask me that. I can't lie to him. "I was looking through some of the old boxes in the garage, looking for my 'Something Old', you know? For me to carry down the aisle?"

He nods silently and lets go of my hands, crossing his arms across his chest. I mimic the gesture. "And I found a box that was filled with some of Mom's old stuff." I have to look away from him. "It just had some clothes, and some jewelry, and stuff like that. But I also found a letter."

He nods silently and moves one of his hands to his upper arm, almost in a protective stance. He knows what I'm about to say.

"It was from her to you, right before your wedding. And Dad, the things she said to you, the way she felt about you...I've never felt like that towards Brett. And I don't think he's felt those things either. If she loved you as much as she said, and you two didn't work out, what chance do Brett and I have?"

"Roma, every relationship is different. Your mother was fun, and spontaneous, always had a good time." His breath is shaking, which is to be expected—he's never spoken this much about my mother.

"Dad, Brett is none of those things."

"And look where that got me. With fun, comes uncertainty, restlessness, always wanting more. She left." His face is turning red. I've never seen him this worked up before. "I've known Brett since the day he was born. He would never leave you, Roma. And I would pick dependability every time."

I stand up, turning away from him. "I know that, Dad, but..."

"Roma..."

"And I know you've always wanted me to be with Brett..."