Stranded with the Rockstar (Rockstar #1)

Sunny

Three months later

Dear Harry,

Yes I am writing you a real, honest to goodness letter, with paper and pen and the whole thing. I feel like people don't write real letters anymore, but letters seem to have played such a big role in my life recently. There was Helen's letter and my mom's letter that started it all. I decided to stick to the theme.

First off, I want to say thank you for your portion of the settlement. The money the cruise ship gave me would have been more than enough—it's not like I blame them—but to add yours on top of it? I'll never have to work again. Although we both know I'll go crazy if I don't.

I have to admit I wish it would have been you to tell me about it, instead of your lawyer—although he was very nice. He got a lot of looks driving through the ranch in his Porsche, but not as many as you would have gotten, I'm guessing.

Niall told me you visited him to pay him for the use of his boat, and I can't lie, it made me laugh. It's such a 'Harry' thing to do.

You and I never finished our conversation from our last day. We got whisked away so quickly, and you could still barely stand. Then once we got to the mainland, and they brought us to that hospital, I tried to find you. But the nurses told me you'd already left on a private helicopter. You didn't say goodbye.

I should have known. You were mad at me, and I understand why. I can't stop seeing your face when I didn't say...what you wanted me to say.

I hope you understand that it has nothing to do with you. It's me. And despite what I said—or didn't say—I still miss you like crazy.

One day, you were everything. And the next, nothing.

And I'm sad. I catch myself staring in the mirror, trying to remember who I was before you. I look at my body and know there's not a single spot where your hands haven't been. I look around the walls of my childhood home and they seem unfamiliar. They're not the same. I'm not the same. I should have known the second I fell off that boat that my life would never, ever be the same.

I wasn't a whole person when I met you. You filled in the vacant pieces, and now I seem to have a missing limb.

I don't want you to think that I'm upset with you, though. I don't know if I would have gotten through my grief without you. I still miss my dad, of course, but you taught me that life is worth living.

Admittedly, it's a little hard to live right now. I had to turn my phone off. Journalists were calling me multiple times a day, and wouldn't take no for an answer. Because of WHO I was with on the island, I have reporters camped out at the front of my drive every day. They want to know about the 'real' Harry Styles.

Brett comes to visit me everyday and has to fight his way through. The other ranchers are irritated. They would never say anything, but I'm sick of being a burden.

I don't know how you live like this.

I wanted to hide, but I didn't know where to go. Until today, it hit me. I should hide in plain sight, be around so many people that I can get lost. And you told me there are almost 'too many people' in New York City.

You know I always wanted to visit, and you also know that I don't do anything halfway. Plus, this will give my neighbors some peace.

I told Brett, and he was surprised—apparently I'd never mentioned wanting to go there to him—but supportive. After thinking I had died, he pretty much supports me in anything.

And in case you were wondering, he's moved on, probably as much as I have. I'm waiting for him to introduce me to his girlfriend any day now. He thinks I'll be upset that he began dating while I was still missing. Little does he know what I was doing while I was missing. Ha!

It's all for the best though. Since I came back, the only connection he and I have is our location, and our past. I don't know what my future holds exactly, but I know it's not Brett.

After Dad died, I thought I'd need someone to take care of me, to protect me. But I know now that I don't. You taught me that, too.

I had a first today. I googled you. I saw the photo of you and your dad at the airport. It looked like your relationship might really be improving. You seemed so happy. So did he.

You are looking healthy, too. Has it been as hard for you to gain the weight back? My stomach was so sensitive at first, I couldn't eat all the foods they recommended. But I'm getting better. You're making it look easy. I hope, in this case, appearances are true.

You said you had an apartment in New York, so who knows? Maybe we'll run into each other. It can't be that big, right? Not as unlikely as finding a lonely island in the middle of the ocean.

So there is no way you're ever going to read this letter since I have no way of finding out where you are. I'll pretend anyway.

Love,
Sunny

P.S. Isn't indoor plumbing the best thing ever?

*A/N: Part 2: "Saving the Rockstar" coming soon!*