hold me || woosan

ten

"mom, we're not finish-"

his mom blocked her ears, leaving san alone in the cold living room. "there's nothing to explain,"

she banged her door, enough to make san's head explode.

the male threw himself to the couch. no matter how comfortable the couch was, san's heart was still uneasy.

what was he supposed to do?

jongho had heard it all, no explanation needed.

san knew he need to put things back together, but there was nothing to begin with.

maybe he indeed tried to think about it, way too long and too deep, that he fell asleep.

a stroke of light woke him up a good few hours later. he checked the window, it was the same car that picked jongho earlier.

his brother waved at the car, at the same time san opened the door. he then hugged jongho as tight as he could, tighter than usual.

it was a hug of apology, maybe. because san knew his brother didn't deserve this. no child should deserve this.

it was a hug of relief, maybe. because san was glad that his brother came back.

he cupped the pure face of his brother, checking anything that could tell san about his condition, because jongho was silent.

"i'm fine," his brother brushed his hands, slowly, and made his way up to his room.

"jongho, i-" san tried but jongho stopped him.

"hyung, really. let's not talk about that, shall we?" jongho said with a façade of smile hiding his true feelings.

jongho closed his door shut. san was alone, again.

it was ridiculously pathetic, he thought. or ironic, to be exact.

his part-time job was about helping strangers. he was meant for that job, considering the fact that he hadn't failed at any calls.

but he couldn't help his own brother.

he majored in psychology, one of the best students, his professor once claimed.

but he still couldn't understand what's on his mother's mind and how to fix it.

it was pathetic, he failed to nail his job as a brother and as a decent human being.

it was pathetic, he put himself to sleep not because of the sleepiness, but because of the tiring tears that he himself didn't know how to stop.

***

thank god for sunday.

san knew he overslept, he could feel sunrays baking his face. but he didn't wanna wake up, simply because he didn't know what to do.

he heard a soft knock from his door, san responded it by humming.

"hyung, it's already eight, you should eat," jongho said from the other side.

jongho's voice brought san back to reality.

the reality where jongho, his beloved brother, was treated badly, and there's nothing san could do.

"im coming," san replied with his husky voice.

san opened the door, went straight to the dining room.

jongho gave san a glass of milk and eat his breakfast first.

the breakfast was silent. the only thing san could hear was the clashing sound of the spoon onto his plate.