You Deserve the World

Chapter 6

September 12, 2016

Pulling up to the hotel, I could feel the pressure of sleep pushing my body closer to the edge. Mark popped the trunk opened and pulled out both of our backpacks since we're only spending the night before jumping on a plane to the next town in the morning. Since we're only staying for a night, Mark and I made an agreement to have one room with two beds because it helps saves money, and who can say no to sharing a room with a Welsh God.

"Thanks for letting me share a room with you again, Mark," I said, setting my backpack down.

"No problem makes things cheaper even though we have enough money for our own rooms," Mark joked.

"We do, but hey where's the fun in that," I replied shrugging my shoulders.

"You're right," he agreed.

As the night rolled on, I was dressed in my pajamas and Mark was scrolling through social media. Deep inside my mind, I keep battling myself about my feelings for Mark but I'm just not sure how to approach this? If I told him my true feelings, he'll probably feel the same way; but if I do and he doesn't, then things become awkward and I would lose a best friend. Oh well, it's not or never.

I crossed my legs like a little kid and played with my fingers nervously, "Hey, Mark, can I talk to you whenever you're free? I've been feeling low lately and I need someone to talk too."

He shut off his phone and sat up, "You can always talk to me whenever you want. What's been bothering you anyway?"

Oh no, he's asking already? What do I say? How do I play this off? Oh, fuck me and my feelings for this man! I quickly gather my brain from that small inner panic attack and calm myself down before replying. "I've been lost and confused lately about something," I said.

He cocked his head to the side, "What's confusing you?"

I let out a sigh, "I can't say because you're gonna judge me."

He chuckled, "You think I'm gonna judge you? I would never do that. Everyone around the world has confused or mixed emotions, and they're afraid to say it because of that same reason. I have mine too."

He does? Now I'm curious about his, could it be about me? "You have mixed feelings too," I questioned, trying to not sound curious.

He nodded, "Yeah, I do."

"Listen, I wanna tell you but I don't know how to express them or how to say it. Getting judged is my biggest fear, and I don't want it to happen," I said, looking down at my feet.

"Who's gonna judge you? So what if we live in a judgemental society, fuck them! We live our lives the way we want to and if other people judge, oh well, they just don't understand," he said going on this necessary rant.

I smiled, "Thanks."

Mark stood up from his bed and looked at me, "Now, is it about something or is it about someone?"

My eyes almost popped out of my head when he said that, oh man does he know I like him or is he going along because he has no idea? "Uh-uh, it's about someone. I like this guy, but I've only known him for a couple of months and I feel like if I told him my true emotions for him, I'm afraid I'm gonna lose him."

He nodded, "So it is about someone. Who is it?"

I slowly raised my head to face my inner fears, "It's... you. My mixed emotions are about you, Mark. I- I like you."

Mark was frozen in time, his face was blank, his mouth was clamped shut, and his eyes told me that his brain was processing the information. I quickly lowered my head out of embarrassment, fuck, he doesn't feel the same way, way to go Nixon.

"You- you like me? Nixon, I- I like you too. There's just something about you that captures me, I don't know what it is but I need to find out. You're like a hidden level in a video game that I just need to explore," he confessed.

I giggled at his analogy, "So I'm a video game now? Good to know."

He shrugged his shoulders, "Hey, we're all fucked up in some random way."

I laughed, "I guess we are fucked up, that is what makes up unique."

Mark smiled at me with his happiest smile ever and pulled me in for a hug. I got lifted off from my bed and was suspended in the air for what felt like hours. Being wrapped in his muscular arms made me feel warm and safe, so I may or may not have wrapped my legs around his waist.

"As cheesy as this may sound, but you melt my heart and make me feel like I belong in this world," I said resting my head in the crook of his neck.

"You do belong here, and I'll make sure you're reminded of that," he said holding me tighter.

"I love how I can be my normal self around you and joke around without you getting pissed. You're my whole world and I want to be a part of it," I confessed.

"You'll always be a part of my world no matter what," he replied.

We stayed in our hugging position for a few minutes and this is my heaven-on-earth. Hanging with Mark or being in his presence felt like heaven because he lets me be me... well, Katie does too but this is something different. My crystal blue eyes gleamed into his blueish-brown eyes and noted every star that reflected in his eyes. The blood rushed to my cheeks once more coloring my light brown freckles. His lip smile was so adorable that my eyes fell back and forth from his eyes to his lips. Oh my gosh am I really asking for this? Correction, I am SO asking for this! My hands rested on the back of his neck taking in the sight that was right in front of me, literally. His strong hands remained on my waist keeping me secured, the world around us seemed nonexistence as the world I dream of only consisted of us. I moved my hands from his neck to his face cupping his bushy jawline in my soft warm hands. We both started to slowly lean in waiting for the middle to disappear, and once it did the warm feeling I've been craving is being fulfilled. Our lips met and fireworks exploded in the air. The synchronicity was on point, every move had a meaning, feeling the heat in between our bodies was incredible, and the passion I was feeling from him was fantastic.

I broke the kiss because my oxygen supply was decreasing, but I felt more alive than ever. Laying my forehead on his, a smile broke onto my face not regretting my actions for a second. Mark slowly placed me on my feet but not breaking away from me, we stayed in each other's arms for a little bit longer before the silence was broken.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too," he whispered back.