You Deserve the World

Chapter 10

October 30, 2016

We had it back to the hotel, and he still hasn't gotten over his loss. I kept silent the whole ride back because I'm afraid to say something that would set him off for no reason. Walking into the hotel room, I grabbed my pajamas to go change giving Mark space to calm down. As I walked out of the bathroom, Mark sat on the bed with his head in his hands in defeat. I sat down next to him and ran my hand up and down his back to soothe him, but it wasn't helping.

"Can you stop," he asked.

I retracted my hand on command, "I'm sorry." I folded my hands together on my lap sitting in the silence next to him, but I can't let him hate himself over a simple match. "You did great tonight," I said.

"No, I didn't. I lost the match and my title," he said running his hands through his hair.

I shook my head, "So what, you still did amazing. You had Pete on the ropes a few times, but he had more experience in the cell."

"That doesn't help me. Now that I don't have the title anymore, people are gonna stop carrying about me," he said.

"No, they won't. They'll still love you no matter what because you bring style to the UK division," I said trying to help him.

"Whatever. No one cares or loves me in the division, even when I was champion," he said in a defeating tone.

I frowned, "I love you, champion or not." I placed a kiss on his cheek to make him feel better because that's all I want in life. I want to make the people around me happy. I never put myself first because to me that sounds selfish and I don't people accusing me of doing that, so that's why I can never love myself.

"I'm sorry for being this way. I'm just pissed at myself because I know better, but I was overhyping myself," he confessed.

I hugged him, "It's okay to feel that way, I do all the time. I'm just afraid to lose you, but I love you and I trust you with my life."

"I love you too," he said.

"You know if we're being honest and confessing shit, I'm afraid to lose you. My last relationship was not the greatest and I'm afraid that you'll turn out like him if I make a wrong move or get overly annoying," I confessed.

He finally looked up at me with sadness in his eyes, "You're never going to lose me because I'm staying right here, but if you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

I tensed up when he asked. I've never told anyone about my past relationship but I chose to forget even though I still think about it. "I- I've never told because it's really bad and I keep trying to forget, but he still creeps into my mind."

"Hey, you don't have to tell me. You can tell whenever you're ready, but I'm not gonna press," he said.

That what I always loved about Mark, he's so caring when it comes to me and my feelings. Whenever I'm feeling a certain way, he's always giving me room to breathe or he's always comforting me. I always knew since I've known him that I would have to tell him, and I think now is the time to do so.

"I want to tell you and I want you to know. You're the only person that's heard this," I said.

"Katie doesn't know," he questioned.

I nodded, "Yeah, Katie and TJ don't know and they're my best friends."

"Oh shit, well I'll keep my mouth sealed after this," he swore.

I let out a shaky breath, closed my eyes to keep my tears at bay, and tried to keep my mind free and clear. "H- he fucking hurt me. I thought he was a good person and all, but I was wrong. That's why I was so hesitant to be with you when you asked me out. I thought you would turn into him after a while. It's so hard for me to talk about this because he used me and abused me beyond repair."

Mark sat next to me in pure shock and fear. Tears were forming in his eyes as I spoke about my past, "Oh my god, Nixon. That's fucked up, that dude shouldn't be alive right now. That's unacceptable, but I understand why you were like that."

I nodded, "Yeah. When I told him he was hurting me, all he would say was that I was bringing it upon myself. All he wanted me for was my body and to be his 'anger management'."

Mark's jaw clenched, "What he did was pathetic. He failed to see the beautiful woman that's right here next to me. I want you to know that I'll never do that to you. Ever. If I somehow get like that, just slap me hard, doesn't that sound fun? You'd get a free pass to slap me."

I weakly smiled, "I guess so? He always said everything was my fault, so matter what it was but I believed him. I don't wanna hurt you or vice versa."

He shook his head, "You're never gonna hurt me nor will I to you. You know how much of a gentleman I am to you. I will never hurt you in any way, shape, or form and I mean it. I love you with all my heart and I will care for you until my last breath.

Tears started to well in my eyes and slowly trickle down my cheeks, "I- you mean absolutely everything to me and if I lose you, I lose myself. You are my entire world and without you, I would be dead."

Mark pulls me into a tight hug, "I will never hurt you. If I did, I would hate and be disgusted with myself. I care about you so much, I will love you forever and ever." He placed a kiss on my head and continued to hold me.

Tears continued to fall as sobs escaped my lips. Nixon ran his left hand through my hair and his right brushed up and down my back, "Hey, don't cry. You're the best woman ever, and you deserve to smile."

"When I first met you, I honestly never knew you'd be this important to me. You make me feel like I can be myself, as weird as I am, you're the sole reason I'm still alive," I confessed.

"As long as I can make people like you happy, I don't care what's going on in my world," he confessed.

I finally stared into his eyes and smiled weakly, "You make me and so many other people happy. I seriously want to spend the rest of my life with you, Mark. We've walked through enough hell in our lives and we've finally found each other's heaven."

"It will always be my pleasure, Queen," he smiled at me.

"I love you, King," I said smiling back.