Flicker // johnmark

fourteen

"Why are you here?"

Mark's voice comes out weak and croaky as hell.

"I came to see you, is that too much to ask for?" Johnny says in the most casual way as he leans against the doorframe. "I missed you."

Now that does something to Mark's heart.

"You wanna light one?" he thumbs behind him towards the outside.

Mark bites his lip to stop the "yes" that's on the tip of his tongue. "Where are we going?" he asks instead, and prays the response won't be the dealer house.

"Anywhere you'd like."

Mark finally looks up and meets Johnny's gentle eyes.

He doesn't know how to respond. The reasonable part of his brain tells him to shut the door, but the other aches to go back to how things were.

No feelings, just nicotine.

But he knows it'll never be like that ever again.

"Did you mean what you said?"

"What?"

"That you missed me?"

"Every word." Absolutely no hesitation.

Mark inhales, presses his lips into a line. He hates how his heart flutters at the words.

Johnny patiently waits. Doesn't say anything, just momentarily glances up at Mark's gaze.

"Are you lying?"

Mark's eyes lower to the ground again. He bites his lip, as if he's afraid of the response.

Honestly he is.

"I would never lie to you."

Mark steps out of the doorway and into the coldness. He represses his shiver as the door closes behind him.

Johnny reaches out, tugs at Mark's wrist. He pulls him close, lips grazing Mark's forehead, just below his hairline.

"Come on," he whispers against Mark's skin. "I know you wanna get out of here anyway."

So Mark goes with him. He doesn't want to deal with his roommates anyways.

Though part of him wants to go back and shut himself back in his room.

But they're already walking down the icy sidewalk.

Johnny places a cigarette into his mouth and lights it. He passes it to Mark out of habit after taking a hit.

Mark doesn't take it, though.

It's getting dark, Mark now realizes. And it's cold as fuck out here so he grabs onto Johnny's arm for warmth.

He doesn't know where they're going. But Mark always gives Johnny the lead, and he'll always follow.

There's a motel on the corner of the next street. Johnny handles the front desk shit and they go to a room.

"I'm sorry." Johnny closes the door behind them.

"Why are you apologizing?" it's breathy and quiet, almost like a whisper. Mark has his back turned to Johnny, and faces the bed with ugly floral sheets on it.

"Didn't I hurt your feelings?"

Mark can feel his breath hitch. Johnny gently grabs his hand and turns him around to face him.

He keeps his head down, not making eye contact. But Johnny slips a finger under his chin and makes him look up.

He leans in, their lips grazing each other.

It's like an apology, almost. Like the words 'I'm sorry' are in the way Johnny kisses him, pulls him closer, slides his hand under Mark's hoodie.

And Mark's head spins.

Johnny's lips trail down his neck, teeth barely scraping the skin. It's so gentle, too gentle. But Mark likes that.

He grips onto Johnny's hoodie, shakily exhaling.

Mark knows it's wrong. He should push Johnny away right now, before it gets too painful.

But it hurts so good.

The back of Mark's knees hit the bed and he falls onto it. Johnny presses light kisses to his bare stomach and ribs.

"But if I hurt you, I'm really sorry." he breathes against Mark's abdomen. "I'll make it up to you."

Mark closes his eyes and lets himself get lost, with Johnny on his lips, his body, and his mind.

—
i know i haven't updated in three months, and i owe you guys a massive apology. if i'm being completely honest, i haven't been motivated to write this story. thank you for waiting and not giving up on this, y'all are the best !! ♡