After the Order

Chapter 1- After the Order

Reys pov

It had been a week since the fall of the sith...and Ben. Only a week. After everything that happened, I didn’t have to process or even grieve his death for many days. When it happened, I was to in shock to process it and was to busy dragging his body to my ship to grieve. I’m still not sure why I did that, I guess I thought it would be good to bury him with his mother by the grave for Hans. when I returned to Ajan Kloss, everyone was celebrating and congratulating each other and especially me, it made me forget what had happened. No one else knew Ben was back, they just knew that Leia died hoping to bring him back. For all they knew, Kylo Ren died in battle, which in the end, was true. I had blocked out what had happened to the point I still felt our bond, it even felt stronger, but I knew it was all in my head.

The next day, I was walking with Finn and Poe when Rose walked up to us, with a concerned look on her face. 

"Rey, why is Kylo Rens body in your ship?" She asked gently, as if I was going to break. That's when it truly hit me. Ben was dead. Through my mind rushed the memories of the prior day. Ben smiling down at me with his arms wrapped tightly around me, then he slowly fell backwards, dying in front of me.

Tears formed in my eyes at the scene playing in my head, but I blinked back the forming tears to respond to Rose.

"That is not the body of Kylo Ren, but of Ben Solo. Will you please have someone prepare his body to be buried with his mother." I say as strongly as I can, not letting my sadness show, but it didn't work. She nods, glancing between Finn and Poe, before walking away.

"Ben came back." Finn said putting his hand on my back. I nodded, keeping my eyes locked on the ground.

"So Leia's sacrifice worked, she brought him home." Poe said, with a small smile on his face, but still full of concern. I sighed, looking up at them. I could feel the tears in my eyes and I knew they had to be red. Both of them looked at me, their concern raising and growing sadder seeing how I was.

"Rey, what happened, why did Ben die?" Finn asked.

"I…"I started to say, but then the look of his cold body flashed into my mind. I couldn't talk about it. 

"I'm sorry, I can't ." And with that, I ran to my quarters, leaving my concerned friends behind. I closed and locked the door, sliding down it till I hit the ground. At that moment, the tears came flooding out. I sat there on the floor sobbing and screaming for what felt like an eternity. I was heartbroken and angry. Heartbroken because I truly believed that there could of been a future between Ben and I, I had even had dreams about it. About us being happy and together. I was angry because it should have been me. And now I have to go on with my life knowing another person I cared about was gone. My parents, Han, Luke, Leia… and know Ben.

I have been loc in my room since that day. For each of those days, Finn brought my breakfast, then would try to get me to talk but I wouldn't. Later, Pie beings my lunch, tries to get me to talk, then would sadly take away the untouched plate from breakfast. After that, Finn would come back to my room and repeat what Poe did for dinner, then repeat it all again the next day. Each day, I would sit in my bed and stare out my window at the greenery of Ajan Kloss. It reminded me of Takonda, where Ben first kidnapped me, where our bond first connected. At night, I would stare at the ceiling all night long. The first night, I slept but regretted it, for he was in my dreams all night long. I would wake up with tears staining my cheek and my hair would stick to my sweat covered neck and forehead. I eventually gave up on sleeping.

I was in my usual spot when Finn came into my room with a determined look on his face.

"Come on Rey, get up, get changed, shower and eat. We leave in an hour." Finn said looking down at me.