Letters To My Soldier

Epilouge

December 2019

Dear Heath,

It was around this time two years ago now-give or take a month-that I wrote you my first letter, and you responded with such desolate resignation. You were lonely, dissatisfied with life, even when I was a stranger I could tell this, and the idea of corresponding with a barely legal teenager was not appealing.

It hurts at times when I think back to those times where you denied me, belittled me without knowing my personality or true self. I may not have realized it then, but I hated you during that time because I felt I was the moral compass of all human society, I was an adult and was ready to enter college where I knew I'd succeed, I was a national champion athlete and everyone wanted to be my friend.

I realize now that I was well and truly pathetic. If I knew then what I know now I would tell myself that I needed a good kick in the ass. Now, I would not have blamed you for not wanting to reply at first. You were the one who has made me see this. Life has made me see this. I'm sure I am not as wise as I hope to be by the time I die, but I know I'm headed on the path I have been destined.

What's path am I taking? I ask myself this sometimes. I remember the little mistakes I would make when I was younger. I almost always misplaced my lip-gloss and would trip over the small tube on early mornings where I was too disoriented to watch where my feet were headed. But that is the point of childhood, isn't it? To know what you want but sometimes forget that you want it, then when you're not paying attention you stumble across it again.

I knew from the beginning that I would want you in my life, always. But that isn't all my path entails. Sorry, I know I just deflated your ego just now. I also want success, just like any individual does. I want to graduate from college; I want to teach high school World History. I want to do the best I can for my Baylor Girls Volleyball team. I don't want to make a stupid speech as Valerie's Maid of Honor at her wedding this summer. I want a life and family with you, in a few years of course. I plan on a long engagement with you until after I get my teaching credentials. I want to know how your day is going. I want to see you in your sexy Training Sargent uniform. I love knowing that you won't be going on another deployment in your career, albeit selfishly. Finally, I love knowing you want these things too.

I wrote you this letter in remembrance of old times. Dean and I talked for the longest we've ever had since that summer a year and a half ago. He told me he was sorry. I forgave him. Yet, I know that nothing will be the same ever again. I hope that one day we will be able to rekindle our relationship but I am still apprehensive that we'll ever be back to normal. It could take awhile but I'll know you'll be beside me to get through it.

Love you,

Priscilla

~X~X~X~X~X~X~

December 2024

(Five years Later)

Hearing the doorbell ring, I get up from the couch and swing open the door.

"Hey," Mike says with a wide smile, "what's with the, uh..." he gestures towards my shoulder.

"Oh, early present from Kaitlyn," I grimace and punch him in the shoulder, "How's it going with you man?"

"Heath, you know how it's been going with me. I don't think anything's changed in the last few years," he says and walks through the front door.

Shrugging, I yell towards the kitchen, "Hey, P! Mike's here!"

"Hey Mike!" my wife yells over the sound of the Grinch movie playing in the background and the smells of a Christmas roast cooking in the oven.

"Yo, P!" Mike replies while heading for the living room. My newborn baby, Kaitlyn, sits in a rocker over a massive blanket as she watches the animated version of The Grinch and occasionally glances over to stare at the shiny lights of the Christmas tree.