Mind is a Prison [an Alec Benjamin fanfic]

four

⚠️Smut Warning⚠️ I'll let y'all know when it starts and stops.

Emma's POV-
          "Emma, have you finished packing?" Alec asks me "Yeah I just have to go get my camera and all the equipment. Actually I was thinking of going right now. Is that okay?" Of course I asked. I mean I didn't know if he wanted to do anything else. Well I'm just being stupid. The tour starts in two days. We leave tomorrow so of course I had to go get all my crap. "Oh yeah it's no problem. Do you want me to go with you? You know. To help?" He seemed nervous to ask me. Why in the world would he be nervous? "Yeah, I do" I smiled at him. He giggled. And that my friends was the key to melt my heart. Alec's laugh. It is adorable!
We left shortly after. I took my car and Alec took his. I was going to leave mine at my apartment and Alec was going to drive me to his house. I am going to spend the night. Again. And we leave in the morning. Simple as that. It took forever to get there. The traffic in LA is horrendous. Halfway through the ride I started to think a bit.
If Alec did have a thing for me, if he did, what would become of us? I couldn't give him the one thing he would want. And the hate. Oh my gosh the hate I would get. And if I ever told Alec I can't have children what would he think of me? He would hate me for sure. I couldn't risk it. I didn't want to suffer through something I could have easily avoided. So I made a promise to myself. I wasn't going to fall in love with Alec Benjamin. And boy was that going to be hard. I mean, he is a gorgeous human. Like damn. His eyes, his hair, his lips. And when he touches me it feels like fireworks are exploding inside me. When we kissed yesterday on the Ferris Wheel, I loved it. I haven't felt this way since Jasper. Well up until 'it' happened. Anyways, it was perfect. He is so sweet, and funny, and so charming. Damn it I think I already fell for him. But I have to stop. I just have to.
We arrived after 2 hours of driving. I parked my car right in front of my building and Alec parked next to me. We got out and headed up to the second floor. I unlocked my door and we stepped inside.
⚠️I guess this is where it starts⚠️
"Finally it's really cold outside I thought I would freeze to death" he rubbed his hands together to warm them up
I laughed slightly as I closed the door behind me

"Your laugh is amazing" a blush spread across my cheeks and I bit my lip looking away from him. He walked close to me putting his hands on both sides of my face as I released my lip from it's hold.

"You don't even know how much I love that" he gave me a look that made my stomach erupt with butterflies.

I grabbed his hand taking them off my face.

"I should get my stuff" I tucked my hair behind my ear as I walked to my room I can't be caught up in my feelings right now. I opened the door to my room and got out a bag. I started to put my things in my bag and I heard the door close. Alec was standing there leaning on my door checking me out when he made eye contact with me he winked and my stomach started doing flips again. I wanted to say something but my mouth kept opening slightly before I would close it.

"I..I..um" I started

He could see that I was trying to say something but couldn't and he came closer to me. I instinctively stepped back as my heels hit the edge of my bed and I tripped and sat on my bed. He held back some laughter and crouched down to where we were eye level.

"What's on your mind?" He asked putting hands on my knees as I felt the sparks rush from the area he touched. I wanted to kiss him right now and I was battling the urge in my head. I shut it out and grabbed his face planting my lips on to his he seemed shocked at first before quickly responding. He put his hands under my thighs picking me up as I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He pushed me up against the wall as I let my hands run through his hair. I wanted him to be closer to me even tho there was no free space. He started to trail kisses from my mouth to my neck biting and sucking most likely leaving marks but, it felt so good that I didn't want him to stop. I shifted slightly on the wall realizing I was rubbing up against him in just the right spot. He let out a pleasurable grunt