Dhmis one-shots

Harry Being A Dad

(Requested by: fluffymyers)

Harry and Manny were at the park. Manny was on the swings with Harry pushing him. Manny was smiling and giggling as he was being swung by his dad. Harry chuckled at his son.

Suddenly he heard his phone ring. He stopped pushing Manny and checked his phone. It was Robin calling him.

"Sorry honey, I have to take this. Wait here, OK?" Harry tells Manny. Manny nods, swinging his legs.

Harry picked up the phone to hear Robin's voice.

"Harry? Honey? There is a vulture on the roof of the house!" Robin yelled.

"What?"

"THERE IS A VULTURE ON THE ROOF OF THE HOUSE!!"

Robin sends Harry a picture. He was right. There was a vulture on the roof.

"What the hell!?" Harry exclaims. He heard Robin yell on the other side of the line.

"THIS IS NOT YOU'RE LAND! GOOOO! Harry, please, come home!"

"Robin relax." Harry sighed. "I'm coming over."

Harry hanged up the phone and groaned. He went over to get Manny but to his surprise Manny came running towards him, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Harry asked worriedly.

"S-Some boy p-pushed me o-off the s-swing...!" Manny cried.

Harry gasped. He growled and his eyes turned red. He grabbed Manny's hand and walked over to the swings.

"Where is he?" Harry asked. Manny point to some random kid on the swing. Harry growled and let go of Manny's hand.

"Stay here." Harry said. Manny nods. Harry stomps over to the kid.

"Excuse me, kid. Why did you push my son? You shouldn't have done that!" Harry told the kid.

"Pfft! Whatever! He's just a freak!" The kid scoffed.

Harry grinded his teeth. He made the kid turned around to make him face him.

"You know what happens to little sh*ts who bully other kids?" Harry asks, his anger shown on his face.

"Ohhh boy." Manny muttered to himself.

"You end up in a FULL MOTHERFUCKING BODY CAST DRINKING THROUGH A STRAW!" Harry yells at him.

"Why should I listen to you? You're not-"

"Your dad!?" Harry interrupted. "Well LA DEE DOODLE DAA! Let me give you a different scenario. You're probably saying to yourself: 'I'm young! I'm strong! I'm gonna go out there and FUCK SHIT UP! Well I'm here to tell you if you play that game, you're gonna find it's pretty hard to fuck shit up in a FULL MOTHERFUCKING BODY CAST DRINKING THROUGH A STRAW!!!"

The kid was on the floor whimpering like a 2 hear old when Manny came to try and stop Harry.

"Dad, I think he gets the poi-"

"I'M NOT FINISHED YET!" Harry shouted. He looked at the kid. "Listen kid, I get it. I used to be like you, telling myself: 'I'm gonna touch the sky!'"

"I don't-"

"Well-WOOPTY DODDLE DOO! You think you got it made in the shade? Well things are gonna be pretty shady indeed when you can't go out in the sun, cause you're in a FULL MOTHERFUCKING BODY CAST DRINKING THROUGH A STRAW!!! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?!" Harry yells beginning to shake the kid. The kid nodded, obviously terrified. "Excellent. Have a hat" Harry puts on a cap he got out of nowhere. The kid ran away, crying to his mom.

"That. Was AWESOME!" Manny exclaimed. Harry chuckled.

"C'mon. Let's go. Robin needs help. He saw a vulture on the roof." Harry tells him.

"Wow cool!" Manny said, walking with Harry while holding his hand.

(Send requests pls)