Helplessness

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What happened after that, Lan Xichen got no time to mull over his feelings. The Wen Sect was enraged of what happened at the discussion conference they hosted. Finally openly started their oppression, they targeted the GusuLan sect first. They burned down the Cloud Recesses, the Library Pavilion, and his father that was in closed cultivation was killed.

Amidst the darkness, he met Jin Guangyao and the man helped him get through his dark times. He was very thankful and promised to also help the other when the other is in need of his help. Then, finally, he met Jiang Cheng again after Lan Wangji found him on the way Lan Wangji was looking for Wei Wuxian’s whereabouts.

“Wany – ! Young master Jiang.” He was about to call when he changed his address. It was his private call to Jiang Cheng in his heart. He calmly walked towards Jiang Cheng who was covered by a blanket, staring at the space. “How are you?” he quietly asked as his hand raised.

“Wretched.” Jiang Cheng coldly answered, his voice emotionless.

Lan Xichen’s hand that was raised trembled and stopped. Wanyin… he thought, feeling his heart hurt and his eyes tearing up as he looks at Jiang Cheng. Gone is the youth he once knew. He was replaced by desolation and coldness. Wanyin… he closed his hand and lowered it. Even though what happened to him (LXC) is tragic, but it was not as tragic as what happened to Jiang Cheng. Everything of Jiang Cheng was lost. His family… his sect… even Wei Wuxian who was known to have been thrown to Yiling by Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao, Wen Zhuliu included.

“I’ll kill them…” he heard Jiang Cheng muttered, his face dark. “I’ll definitely kill them… damn Wens… bastards…” he continued.

Lan Xichen’s tears fell as he helplessly reached out to Jiang Cheng. However, his hand stopped before he could touch him. Wanyin… my dear Wanyin… he thought. He badly wanted to touch him… hug him… to relieve his (LXC) pain. However… he clenched his fist as he lowered his head. He could only stay by his side, standing beside him. Accompanying him.

Wangji… he thought as he turned and walked away when he saw Jiang Cheng buried his face on his knees and cried. He can’t stand to hear him cry. If only he could kill Wen Ruohan right now… kill Wen Chao… kill Wen Zhuliu… kill Wang Lingjiao! He thought and punched the pillar next to him. He heard it cracked and shook. His knuckle bled, however he didn’t mind the pain. Was this how you felt when you also accompanied young master Wei? He thought and looked at his younger brother who’s staring in the space again, wondering if Wei Wuxian would suddenly pop out and tell them that everything is just a nightmare. However, he knew it was impossible.

There is no need for answer, he knew that himself. They all knew that everything – their suffering will end only when they would end the Wen clan’s tyranny.

He could only silently help Jiang Cheng as the other rebuild his sect and silently support as they all began the Sunshot Campaign to bring down the Wen clan. Him watching Jiang Cheng from behind as Jiang Cheng advance to avenge his family… how can I enter his eyes? His heart? He thought. But, he knows that this isn’t the right time. Not yet. He clenched his fists as he watched Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji walk away to hunt down the Wens while also searching for Wei Wuxian, their hope never died but instead burned more to find their friend.

“Young master Lan.” He heard Meng Yao called after Meng Yao gave him a tip about Wen Ruohan’s movements.

Lan Xichen woke up from his daze and turned his sight from the direction where Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji left. “Yes?” he said, then added. “I thought I already told you not to call me that.” He told Meng Yao.

“Young master Lan is jesting.” Meng Yao just said and chuckled. “Young master Lan is worried for second young master Lan?” he asked, then paused. “But of course. The fight against the Wens are dangerous. Second young master Lan should be very careful.” He said.

Lan Xichen nodded, then shook his head. “Actually, that isn’t it.” He said, then took a deep breath. He already had regarded Meng Yao as his confidant, and so he told him what worries him. “What worries me… is that in Wangji’s heart, young master Wei is very important.” He said.

“… young master Wei?”

Lan Xichen nodded. “Yes.” He said. “Wangji has never had a friend before, until young master Wei appeared. Young master Wei… he was the first friend Wangji had. And so, Wangji… he is desperately looking for young master Wei, hoping the other is still alive.” He sighed and closed his eyes, his worry finally had lifted in his heart after he said it. He can’t tell it to his uncle Lan Qiren since he knew his uncle would just cough blood if he (LQR) would know of this secret.

“Young master Wei… is in second young master Lan’s heart?” Meng Yao said. “He cherishes him?” he added.

Lan Xichen nodded. Indeed. This is the truth, and so there is no need to hide this.

“… I wonder about young master Jiang.” Meng Yao suddenly said.

Hearing about Jiang Cheng, Lan Xichen sharply turned. “Why?” he asked.

“I now understand about second young master Lan’s intention of finding young master Wei.” Meng Yao said. “However, young master Jiang…” he said and paused.

Lan Xichen felt his heart jolt. He had a bad feeling about this. “What is it?” he asked. “Wasn’t it because young master Wei is Wanyin’s brother?” he asked, unaware of his slip because he was caught off guard and even he is unguarded towards Meng Yao.

Meng Yao put his fingers on his chin, thinking. “Young master Wei is young master Jiang’s adoptive brother.” He corrected. “He is the son of sect leader Jiang’s (JFM) servant.” He said.

“… wasn’t it because Wanyin is close with young master Wei…?” Lan Xichen asked, his voice growing weaker. He started to waver just because of few words.

“… maybe.” Meng Yao just said. Then, he left to return to the QishanWen sect as a spy.

Lan Xichen was left with his heart feeling unsettled. This feeling grew when he saw Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng came back with Wei Wuxian. He felt his heart sank. However, what broke his heart completely was because he saw Jiang Cheng was laughing, his eyes even sparkling as he talked with Wei Wuxian – whose face is now cold and stern, like a mirror to Lan Wangji’s face. However, he (LXC), as Lan Wangji’s elder brother, could see his younger brother’s dim eyes regained its light again. He is happy for his brother, but he can’t completely be happy since his brother’s happiness is the source of his sadness.

Wanyin… he thought when he saw Jiang Cheng turned and looked at him. He (LXC) should be happy because the youth that he knew before is now back. However, he just can’t.

“Zewu-jun!” Jiang Cheng called, his clear voice now upbeat again like in the past. “Wei Wuxian is back!” he told him, excitement on his face and voice is visible. Lan Wangji, following behind the two, nodded. He’s obviously more than happy.

Yes. Wei Wuxian is back. However, can he (LXC) have his hope back? He thought as he forced a smile to Wei Wuxian. “Young master Wei. Welcome back.” He told him. He now realized too late. If he only knew… should he have wished Wei Wuxian to not come back? But how about Wangji? This confusion… he looked at the smiling Jiang Cheng. Wanyin…

He realized, all this while, that Jiang Cheng may be in love with Wei Wuxian.

(A/N: geez. Look at how scheming JGY is. He made LXC astray. Please look forward for the extras later. 😁)

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