Cruel Stakes High Roller

Cleaning up my Act

[22] Cleaning up my Act

My breath caught as she scowled at her feet. I haven't even gotten around to giving her the gifts. I couldn't understand her message. But she was so happy to see me, so happy!

And she wanted to kiss me.

And now, she wanted to break up with me.

"I don't understand." I finally muttered.

She looked at me now with glistening eyes that were pooled by unshed tears. "I know what you need, and I can't give it, no matter how I wish I could, so..." I had no idea what she's talking about, my arm around her tightened, I didn't want to let go.

She winced. "Don't make it harder than it is. I'm happy for you. I really am, and I understand."

I straightened up this time. "Felice, what are you talking about?" I demanded. "This has no sense to me, who have you been talking to?"

Someone gave her this absurd idea of her not being enough for me. Was it my parents? Did they go behind my back even when knowing how happy I was with her?

"It doesn't matter Tony... you need to be happy and I perfectly understand." Her eyes didn't move from my face and a tear trickled down her cheek. I tried to ignore that bitter smile that crept on her face. "See, I'm happy ...too" Her voice broke at the last word.

Maybe no one did talk to her. Maybe she got the idea on her own, but why? Maybe my parents didn't interfere as they were with me while we were on the trip. Who could've gotten to her while I was out of the country and out of touch?

I should have kept in touch. I should have monitored everything... I should have...

She gasped a slow and silent shuddering breath.

My mind went ballistic thinking of every other option available as I came back to that nagging secret that I kept for so long now. I had to get it out before I lose my mind.

"Is this about the bet?" I mentally kicked myself for blurting it out, but I had to explain. "Felice you have to understand. I am not that man anymore. I cursed him a long time ago. It was a stupid bet, I lied and I did everything to prove to myself that I could be that arrogant pig, but it doesn't make sense to me now. It doesn't matter now Felice, because I fell for you. I fell so hard. You... you changed me." And at that moment when her eyes narrowed at my words, I was almost sure that I made a bigger mistake.

"The... bet?" She started crying silently. The lone tear that almost dried up on her cheek was now revived by hundreds of salty droplets unceasingly flowing.

"I thought you told me..." She looked away now with a pained expression.

I sat rigidly in my seat as I tried to reach for her hand. She pulled it away. "Don't touch me." It was a soft whisper, but I understood the threat.

"I might as well tell you the truth now, Felice." I sighed as the cat was definitely hissing out of the sack. "I used to like Karen very much, and the only way for me to have her was if I win that stupid bet. That bet..." I paused for a deep breath. "She made a bet with me to make you fall in love with me." I shuddered at the thought.

"But it was already too late when I realized that she did it for Trish since Trish has been jealous because Justin liked you." I stopped there because I couldn't really see her face anymore. She had her back against me and it pained me tosee her like this.

"I got off the bet when I got to know you better. Felice, I never felt this way about anyone. Please hear me out, I'm telling you the truth. I am jealous of how you and Justin connected. How you were always pissed at me and always pleased at him. I had to do something. I had to have you."

She stopped breathing when I said that. She looked at me and her expression was even more pained than I could've imagined. I wanted to hold her; to erase her fears; to comfort her, but I couldn't, and nothing had ever made me more disgusted with myself.

"But you had to have her too." Her silent tears were endless. I glanced around us and saw that the maids had disappeared to the kitchen and it was only the two of us left in the living room. At first, she refused to meet my eyes, but when she prepared herself for the next statement, her eyes glared piercingly at me that it was almost as if it lost all of its luster. "Tony, I knew men had needs. But I didn't know they can be this selfish. I didn't expect you to be this selfish."

And it hurt, it hurt like hell. "I never took her to bed, Felice." I cringed at the way that statement sounded. I was at a loss of the right words, and as if it couldn't get any worse, her face drained out of all emotions and stared at me blankly.

"It's only you Felice. No one else." I added.

"Did you think you can buy me with your presents? Your parties, your expensive dates, and empty rich lifestyle? I guess you don't know me at all." She stood up with a straight face and stared at the door where I entered in. "I refuse to be part of your collection, although it seems as if it's too late now."

I stood up alarmingly. "No! Felice! You've got this all wrong. I don't know who gave you this idea but it's not like that. Ever." I was even more at a loss of words now. And as if the torture wasn't enough, she took the huge paper bag and pushed it to me as she motioned towards the door.

"I trust that you can show yourself out." She said ever-so-calmly that it was petrifying to see her this way.

What have I done? I couldn't move.

"Please." She stood rigidly, almost out of breath.

I couldn't argue anymore.

I deserved this treatment, maybe even more for what I've done. I slowly walked out and closed the door behind me. I heard angry thuds forcefully climbing the stairs, one loud door slammed as the hinges protested noisily at the impact. It was followed by an excruciating piercing shrill that echoed in the whole neighborhood. And the breathless bawling followed as I heard her shatter every piece of calm facade she put on a while ago.

I placed the paper bag in the car and stared at her window. The light curtain allowed the bright light from the room to escape the window, which didn't disappear until her parents got home.

I didn't leave.