Bts Collection

Finding his Juul: Taehyung

I snuggle into bed and struggle to keep my eyes open after the day we've had. Taehyung has a one month break from work and we're trying to make the best of it because the only time I can really see him is when he's not working... and he works a lot. For the past couple of weeks, we've been spending our time on the beaches of Key West, Florida. Today, we took surfing lessons. Because of our lack of experience, we were falling into the water almost every time. Hilarious memories were made but the after math is starting to kicking in. My body aches and my eyes feel heavier than rocks. Tae has been in the bathroom for so long and I want to wait for him before I fall asleep but I can't keep my eyes open any longer.

Not long later, I feel the other side of the bed sink down, pulling me out of my half sleep. A small kiss is planted on my forehead followed by Tae's deep voice wishing me a good night. Even though we've been dating for almost two years my heart still leaps at these sweet gestures. I wait a couple seconds before slowly turning around to him. With my eyes still closed, I reach out in front of me but feel nothing there. I open my eyes to see Tae leaning over the side of the bed. I don't see the light of a phone screen... what could he be doing? Seconds later a puff of smoke starts to rise.

"Tae? What are you doing?" I say suddenly wide awake. Is he smoking...? At the sound of my voice, he immediately puts his head on his pillow, still facing away from me and ,so obviously, trying to hide something.

"Nothing baby." His voice is kind but unconvincing. I sit up and try peaking over him to see the object in his hand. I only get a glimpse of the small metal stick before he shoves his hand under his pillow and squeezes his eyes shut tight, probably hoping I'll just disappear.

"Are you kidding me?" I say and launch myself over his body while trying my hardest to pull his hand out from under the pillow. Of course, he's too strong and my efforts are soon overpowered by his strong arms. Leaving the juul under his pillow, he quickly flips himself on his back and pulls me onto him. Wrapping his long fingers around my wrists, he brings them to his chest. He has a smug smile on his face, knowing that he's won once again.

"Can you just let me win once?" I say, chuckling slightly.

"Next time, okay?" He smiles. A couple moments go by and I finally speak up.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask feeling helpless. He's always struggled with the stress his work brings and I've tried my hardest to relieve as much of it as I can but I guess it wasn't enough.  I'm worried about his new habit and upset that he kept it from me.

"I didn't want you to worry." He says, loosening his grip on me. "I'm trying to stop anyways, I promise."

"I just don't want you to hurt yourself. Those things are killing people these days, you know?" I look down at him and admire his skin glowing in the moonlight. "Is there anything I can do to help?" I say feeling desperate.

"You're my only motivation to stop. Your existence alone is helping me enough." His words send butterflies throughout my stomach and I can't help but think about how much this boy means to me.

"Do you know how much I love you?" I say as I stare into his sleepy eyes. He runs his thumbs softly over my wrists.

"I know it's a lot, but it doesn't compare to the way I love you. You're my rock, y/n." He says as a matter of fact.

"You always have to one up me, huh?" I chuckle and he rolls his eyes.

"Ahh, be quite and come here already." He says and tugs at my wrists, causing me to fall forward, my legs remain hugging his sides. He lifts his head to meet my lips. I use my elbows to hold myself up as his hands slink around my back. I run my hands through the curls on his head as he kisses me. His kiss is slow and warm, pulling me in. He runs his hands up and down my back while his lips move diligently over mine. I take advantage of his occupied state and carefully reach my hand underneath the pillow. I wrap my fingers around the cold metal stick and grip it tight before chucking it. It smacks against the hard wood floor, breaking into 3 different piece. Tae stops his movements.

"You..." He waves his finger at me and squints his eyes.

"I did it because I love you and your lungs. All though you say I'm doing enough already, I feel like I can do more. Please let me help." I poke at his chest.

"Just stick by my side, okay? Usually people get irritable when they're trying to quit so you might have to put up with that as well." He says and runs his hands up my sides, making goosebumps pop up all over my body.

"I'll be with you the whole time. We're in this together." I smile and lay my head on his chest. "You and I. Always." He lets out a big breath and wraps his arms around my back, squeezing me tight.

"What would I do without you?" He says softly from above me. "I love you y/n." My eyes are already closed but I open them one last time and lift my head up enough so that they meet his.

"I love you." I give him a soft kiss before returning to his chest. He pulls the blanket over both of us and holds me closer than before. I love that I can feel his emotions through his actions. When he holds me like this, I know he's using me and my presence to calm his mind. I know he'll get through this if he's trying to stop, and I'll do my best to help him. I listen to his heartbeat under my ear and begin to drift off in his arms, once again.