I am tired, and defeated

Hey (3)

I feel like I'm back here rather late. I dont feel as unstable as I was when I started this story. But I'm still not alright. The messed up ball of emotions is still somewhere inside of me. But I try to ignore it.

I understand, that these words mean nothing. But I still write them to let this pain flow away.

I write for you, because I believe that you'll stay with me. That you won't betray me like everyone else has.
You wont believe how much of hate I have inside my heart. Want to see an example? Then let's begin today's story with one including this deep and intense hate, though its born out of love.

There were two sisters, Sol and Nil. One was worshipped by all being, while the other was blamed of bringing bad luck, though the both of them were the same in all things.

Sol loved her sister, and so did Nil. But their love was tarnished when their differences came up. Sol was koved by everyone but Nil had to go though all the hate and curses. She felt that she shouldnt have existed in the first place.

One night, Sol decided to bring her sister a present to make her happy.
She went to Nil, only to find out that she had been all alone by herself. She was alone with her self loath, sorrow and a desire to go back to how things were in the past. Sol really wanted to help her sister but she couldn't possibly do anything much. She sat beside her and gave her a tight hug. Nil, broke into tears when Sol hugged her. Nil did feel a bit relieved with that. But it wasnt meant to last long.

One day, it was decided that Sol and Nil would be separated for eternity and they symbolize two completely different things. Sol was all abou thr brightness of days and Nil was all about night and things in it. Nil, now realised how important her sister was, despite being jealous of all the love she got. Nil never got any love even though she never harmed anyone intentionally. Sol was extremely worried about her sister but as time went in, Sol had to forget her and carry on with her work all day.

Nil on the other hand, was all alone as always. She has no motivation to go on and as they were immortal, she has no choice but to carry on with her own work but unlike Sol she couldn't forget her sister and her experiences with her.
Her emotions were all tangled up.

------------------

I'm sorry I couldnt finish the story, I left it there incomplete but I could try completing it. Though if you'd like to finish up with the story sooner, I could give it a quick look and finish it in a few words.

I see, the amount of pain I had at that time was far greater than the pain I have right now.

Well to sum up the whole story in a few words, the two sisters were indeed separated. But as you know, darkness, despair, they have no control. They're said to be in harmony with chaos.
And thus the sister Nil wanted to keep her Sol to herself. Her despair reached such levels that she crossed all barriers of the universal laws according to her wishes and made Sol her very own love for eternity. Now no one can separate Sol from Nil, because they're now one. Brithness and Darnkess exists as one.

Still, chaos cant be avoided. She cant erase chaos as that's what gave her the power. The universe is all messed up and begins to break down. In what way you ask?

Everything started to literally fade away, as if nothing ever existed into eh first place. Can you imagine what nothingness looks like? Well I cant.
But that's how the story was supposed to end. But to be honest I didnt think the ending this far, I was far too depressed to think of an ending.
As for today, it's not the best time to wrote a different story.

So to go along with this story's moral, I'd like to tell you that despair, it's just one of things which can ruin each and everything if not kept under control. We cant completely dismiss it, but we can try focus on more important things in life.

Yeah I know, seems very self righteous. It's not that easy. Though remember my one line.

"Trying is all that we can and should do".

Well then, see you guys in the next chapter. Though I'm not making any promises.