Tiger Teeth - Terms & Conditions // Book Two

Chapter 5

I was devastated once I came off stage.  The realization of just exactly what I'd done was rough.  I felt like my chest had collapsed in on itself and now I was forced to breath under the weight of it.  If anything I had done had caused her to doubt what an unbelievably beautiful woman she was I would...well I don't know what I would do.  

I made it to my hotel room without needing to take any fan photos which was good.  God knows how they would've come out.  I was sure I looked like I'd run over a puppy.  

I needed to be alone.  I needed to think.  Figure out how I could possibly make up for this.  It seemed I was only making things worse no matter what I did.

Should I take Brandon's advice and leave the tour?  I could feel myself start to hyperventilate.
No.  No that wasn't the answer.

I would not run.  Leaving now would make it look like I wasn't taking responsibility for what I'd done.  And while I hadn't really made that much headway I didn't want to lose what little progress with Chroi that I had made.  

No, leaving the tour was not the answer.  I had to figure out a way to get her to listen to me.  If for no other reason then to make sure she knew that her success had nothing to do with me nor should her belief in herself. 

I felt like an idiot.  How on earth had I been so blind?

Well that question was easily answered.  Because I'd been a selfish asshole for the last three months.  I'd dragged Chroi into this without a thought for her well being.  I was concerned with myself only.  It had been me who had driven this whole thing.  From the moment I'd asked her to fake date me, to the moment I had kissed her in Ireland, to the moment I had undressed her, to the moment I'd let go of her hand when we'd returned to New York until now.  She'd had very little say in anything.  

I had done the navigating.  She had only been along for the ride, putting her trust and faith in me to steer her in the right direction.

God, I was an asshole.

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Getting to the venue the next day was more of a chore than it should've been.  I was no closer to figuring anything out and I also hadn't worked out my anger towards Myer.  All around I was in a peachy mood.  

I trudged through the door, smiling tightly as the crew members greeted me as I walked by.  I just needed to get to my dressing room before anyone saw me and before I saw anyone.  Thankfully it seemed as though the only people who had actually made it to the venue at this hour was crew.  None of the performers had seen their way in yet.

Just as I sighed with relief I heard Myer's irritating high pitched laugh boom through the hallway,

"She's as ridiculous as he is.  Always whining about how she's not sure if she's good enough for all of this.  I mean...I did everything I could to get her on this tour but I couldn't do everything."  

I quickly turned the corner right outside his dressing room door.  I was hidden from anyone walking past but still able to hear clearly.

He roared with laughter but I couldn't hear anyone else.  He must've been talking on the phone,
"When she's on tour with me alone that will be when I'll pull out the big guns."  

He paused.  I reached forward to dig my nails into the concrete wall before me to keep myself from marching in there and beating him to a bloody pulp.

"...I mean yeah...mostly.  I just can't resist seeing him lose his shit all the time.  She's not really the end game. Making sure the idiot doesn't release a CD worth shit is."