Tiger Teeth - Terms & Conditions // Book Two

Chapter 18

CHROI

"What about red? You've never worn it for a performance before."

"Or green..."

"We could do a whole...jewel tones thing. I usually put you in muted colors...but we could try something different."

Rupert had been trying to get me to react to something, anything, for the last 30 minutes. He put me in dresses, skirts, suits, khakis, anything he could think of, but it was no use. The Grammy Awards ceremony was tomorrow and I just couldn't muster up anything to care about it at all. It was supposed to be the greatest night of my life. I was nominated for all the big awards. Every designer on the planet wanted to dress me. Every media outlet wanted an interview. The show had me performing just before they handed out the final awards of the night, a position normally held by people with far more experience than my measly six months as an artist.

And all I could think about was Niall.

I hadn't spoken to him since he'd left Ireland. No one had. Josh and Dallas had tried looking but they hadn't found a single bit of evidence that he had come back to New York nor where he might have gone afterwards.

I wanted to help them, but Brandon had scheduled so many interviews for the Grammys that I could do nothing but rack my brain for where he might have gone. I came up with nothing. After searching for two weeks, Josh and Dallas reluctantly convinced me that I had to let him go. I told them I would but I didn't. I couldn't. The thought of never seeing him again took my breath away.

I had been remorseful for many things in my life but I had never been more sorry for what I'd done to Niall since we'd gotten back together. He'd tried, much harder than anyone else had before. I should have told him about my doubts and fears.

I just...

I couldn't ever find the right words.

And I was afraid of hurting him. Actually, I was terrified of hurting him. And now that's exactly what I'd done.

I heard Rupert sigh, it brought me out of my own head. When I turned my eyes in his direction, he looked like he was staring at a lost puppy,

"How long has it been?"

I blinked,

"What?"

He shook his head,

"I know you know what I'm asking you."

I quickly averted my eyes to the floor,

"22 days." I whispered.

Rupert took a step towards me,

"Honey..." I knew what he was going to say before he said it, "If he wanted to be found, he would've been by now."

I nodded, fighting the urge to cry. I was so tired of crying,

"I know."

Rupert lifted his hand to my shoulder,

"You worked hard for tomorrow night. You should enjoy yourself. Because I dunno much...but I do know that no artist in that audience deserves any of those awards more than you do."

For the moment, my tears subsided and a smile popped up as I turned into Rupert. He wrapped his arms around me,

"And I say you go with the green."

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Dallas hadn't left my side since we returned from Ireland. It should have annoyed me but I was so happy not to be alone. Anytime I was alone I found myself reliving every moment of my time with Niall and I'd either end up in tears or hyperventilating.