Aqua Terrarium (Nagi No Asukara)

Chapter Forty

"Hikari what-?!" I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Hikari standing before me.

In fact, none of us really expected that he'd be here after he ran away from home with Akari.

"It's not like I wanted to be here..." he grumbled, "When you guys didn't show up, I had a feeling my dad and Uroko-sama had something to do with it."

"We heard what happened from Manaka," Kaname asked, to which Hikari turned red and gasped.

"W-what?!" It was an expression we didn't expect, as if he assumed Manaka had said something to us that he obviously didn't want us knowing.

Sensing our confusion, Hikari coughed to regain his composure. I couldn't help but want to ask him what the matter was but he had beaten me to it by changing the topic.

"I tried reasoning with him but he's stubborn about not letting any of the guys back at the surface know."

I'm curious as to what he could be hiding but decided against pushing through with the question. It might not be as important as I think it to be as compared to the impending hibernation dawning for us.

The fall of the salt flakes on the surface and the cold wind regardless of the season were warning signs all along.

While we may be saved thanks to our Ena, the thought of leaving those in the surface behind to fend for themselves did not sit well with me. Abandoning them to the cold... Can we truly look away and abandond them? What about Akari and her family? Our classmates who learned to accept us along the way? Takashi's friends-- Miuna and Sayu? Tsumugu and his grandfather...

So many people we know are going to be left behind. Is there truly no way to save them?

"But don't you think it's better that way?" Chisaki spoke up, surprising us with her agreement to Uroko-sama's wishes. "I don't think I'd want to know if I were in their shoes..."

The look Kaname sent Chisaki didn't escape my notice, my brow rising suspiciously at what that look meant. It was like he knew the reason as to why Chisaki had answered like that.  The secret he knew was enough to make his eyes turn distant, the same look he gave whenever Chisaki spoke fondly of Hikari.

But, like always, he would easily mask that brief weakness of his. Like a flip of a switch, the expression was gone and with it grew my worry for whatever burden he intended to keep to himself.

"That's why we need to make sure the Ofunehiki happens! It isn't some small time festival anymore. That's why we have to let everyone at the surface know." Hikari countered.

When we first came to Mihama, Hikari had made it known that he didn't want to have anything to do with the surface kids. To see him so worked up about wanting to save them, I can't help but wonder for whose sake he's truly doing this for. Did he truly change for the better and accepted them after what he and Akari had gone through... Or--

As I watch his eyes shift ever so briefly behind us, it's obvious what the answer is.

I follow his gaze to see Manaka under the tree, her face hidden from us. After hearing the story of our impending hibernation, I wouldn't be surprised why she would be upset. From the five of us, Manaka was the one who had easily made friends with most of our class even after the stunt they had pulled on our first few days in Mihama.

"I agree with Hikari." Hikari and I were normally always butting heads, rarely did we ever agree on anything. Which was why it was surprising for them when I had agreed so readily to his wish to inform the surface of what's happening.

I mean, if Hikari's right, and the only way to prevent this is by doing the Ofunehiki, then all the more reason why we have to tell them the gravity of the situation.

"But how are we going to tell them? We're practically forbidden from leaving the village."

"Then I'm going to try to convince Uroko-sama to let us go. I'll pester him if I have too!" Hikari replied to Kaname's question, his hands tightening into fists as if his conviction was refueled before turning his gaze up, not to us but to some distant vision only he could see.

"In fact, I'm going to persuade him right now." It all happened too fast, we didn't even have the time to stop him as he turned around and ran back to the shrine, his figure quickly growing smaller as he began picking up speed.

"Why does it feel like he's being chased by something?" It was Kaname who had broken the shocking silence, his question making us turn to him. "I'm surprised he's so desperate about this considering that he'd be better off if we went to sleep--,"

"Kaname!" Chisaki rebukes him, enough to make that bitter smile appear on his face.

"Ah, sorry..." Is all he says but his eyes betray the number of things he wished he could.

"We should go after Hikari." The atmosphere is taut, almost nearing the breaking point that it was stifling. One wrong move and we'd go past a point we could never return to. It was too early to go head on, especially now that the hibernation is looming close.

That... Or it's just my own paranoia getting to me.

That's probably why I easily changed the topic. After all the numerous times I've said that I'd help him, it's become obvious now that when the time comes that he'll do it, I don't think I'd be able to stand it. I'm afraid to hear his answer and even more so to see him confess to her. The selfish side of myself is truly shameful, my bottled up feelings threatening to spill.

It was so easy to hold it in. What had changed?

'As expected. I really don't have much time, do I?' His words from other day makes me recall the reason why. It gives me an uneasy feeling, as if whatever he plans to do will drastically change everything.

It scares me because it's obvious that it has something to do with his feelings for Chisaki. Every decision he made always took her into consideration. I feel like my mind is in shambles, almost like I am being chased just like Hikari. The Hibernation has backed us into a corner, our time now limited that every moment counts.

Because even Kaname knows that he doesn't have much time left. It makes his decision more firm, more possible that seeing it materializing before me makes me afraid.

Can I truly hold it in even with the impending sleep? Holding onto these unsaid feelings until we fall into a slumber we'll never know when we'll wake up from... Can I really be that patient?

With the way my heart aches at the thought, the truth dawns on me that it's impossible.

I'm so sorry, Kaname... But it looks like I can't fulfill that promise after all.