city of achilles {bxb}

chapter 9

Sunday

The meeting is a shitshow of rhetoric and hypocrisy, as usual.

I've gotten away with leaving my hair down because I told mom I have a headache, so I've been hiding an earbud underneath my hair the entire time and listening to Smashing Pumpkins' Adore album. Daphne Descends makes me feel like a Victorian vampire on DXM and that's all I really need right now.

It's distracting me from the fact that this morning, mom introduced me to a forty-something year old man with the weirdest, fakest, most nervous smile I've ever seen on her (which is saying something). Thing is, I'm almost certain I know why, but my brain isn't letting me admit it, because it knows I will throw up if I think about that. If I think about how he made a point to call me 'son', how he gave me an extra firm handshake, and how he has the same glasses as Geradline, I will not make it through the meeting without a nervous breakdown. I don't have any alcohol on me, so nervous breakdown is off the table.

It's resting at the back of my brain and causing my stomach to sink at a painfully slow rate. I want to just erase the memory of meeting that man. His name is brother Acker. I will not be addressing him as brother because he looks more like a creepy uncle than anything. His energy isn't the same as Geraldine's, though- Acker's is a lot more uncomfortable, in the sense that he himself looks uncomfortable. Geraldine is more intimidating and almost enticing in his manner sometimes, but this guy is just plain fucking weird. He has a big, toothy grin plastered on his face almost 24/7 with a hint of just-shat-myself and everything he says sounds like it's being read straight from a script. He's conducting the Watchtower right now and I can't stand listening to him talk.

Once the Watchtower study ends, Acker walks off the side of the stage that I'm on and makes eye contact with mom. He smiles and nods at her and then looks at me and mouths something. I nearly piss myself as he doesn't break eye contact with me while he's walking and it happens in slow motion as he taps me on the shoulder and gestures for me to come with him. I look over at mom, wide-eyed, and she nods me off. I feel like I'm going to hurl on the spot, but I know it'll only be worse if I argue. I stand up and take out my earbud, stuffing the cord in my pocket with my phone. My legs feel like noodles as I follow him out into the foyer and to the elder's room.

I fucking knew it.

My brain is still trying to ignore reality as he sits me down and closes the door, setting down a Bible in front of me. He sits directly across from me, that same smile on his face. It feels less like he's feeling uncomfortable and becomes more chilling than anything. It feels like he could pull a gun on me and it wouldn't be shocking at all. This man has God's word so far up his ass that he could kill someone and laugh.

"It's so good to finally meet you, Marco. Brother Geraldine is a good friend of mine." He lays down his words carefully, as if he can sense my fear. He's trying to be gentle. He's doing exactly what Geraldine did at first.

I nod slowly. "Yeah. Geraldine..." Just saying his name makes me want to burst out into tears. "I know him."

Now this is where I have to decide if I'm going to appease or resist. I don't know Acker much yet, so it's in my best interest to appease. I don't know if he's violent yet. I definitely had no idea what to expect with Geraldine and I wish I had just appeased him the entire time. He always fed off of it and went on a power trip when I was resistant. 

"He's told me loads about you. It's absolutely beautiful to see so many brothers in Jehovah's organization who care about you, isn't it?"

I don't know how to feel. Geraldine fucking hurt me. I just nod.