✨My Little Princess✨Jin FF

7

 !! Danger!! this chapter has mentioned suicidal thoughts and actions. This will be a sad chapter so there will be a summary at the next chapter if you don't like these kind of things.

[Edited]

Joy's  POV    6 days till they leave for America 

4am

  I am worthless. I woke up and that was one of many thoughts in my head. I wanted to just leave this place and make everyone happy. I started signing the song empty by Olivia O'Brien. Little I know jin appa was up.

Jin POV 

  I felt Joy get out of bed so I sat up so I could see what she was doing. She started singing so I recorded it.

(The song above)

  I turned the recording off and walked over to Joy she had grabbed my razor from the bathroom and had cut herself " I should make Jin appa happy," she was about to cut herself again when I picked her up and put her face near my chest. I held her chin to were she had to look at me. When I saw her eyes all I saw was sadness.

        "Princess I love you don't ever leave I know it was hard for you at the orphanage but I couldn't be more sad if you left I love you, I know I am never gonna be like your old dad but please we all want you here. We want you to love us and your self ," she started balling. "Appa it's hard people yell out mean things when we're out and the people from the orphanage come back. I found that song and have been singing it for a long time . It feels like everyone leaves me so I want to join them ,"she said and was yawning and hiccuping at the same time. "Princess you need to go to sleep if this is bothering you, you need to tell me I know it's hard to talk but it will make you feel better, okay?" I said "Okay," 

             I took her to the bathroom and washed her cuts. Then I went inside and put her in the crib with her plush. I made a private group chat with  Yoongi and Jimin and said I need to talk to them  in private tomorrow morning at around 9 in my room. I knew they would wait until morning to respond but I just needed to talk to someone about this and both of them have gone through this . 

The next morning

           I slept in and when I woke up I smelled breakfast. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I didn't change clothes because today was a free day. Yoongi and Jimin knocked on the door I opened it . "You wanted to talk to us," Jimin asked "yea something happened this morning and I don't know what to do," they followed me to my bed and I played the clip. They looked upset " Did she cut herself," Yoongi asked 

"Yeah,  why do you ask," I said kinda confused 

"Because I did that when I was in my worst fazes of depression. I knew she was bad but I didn't think she was actually this bad,"he said and Jimin nodded 

 "what do you mean,"I asked 

 "when I was like this I refused to eat, I was constantly thinking about killing my self it got me in the darkest times of my life. Did she say anything after that?" Jimin asked 

" she said it was hard and that she wants to join her parents," I said trying to quote her 

"can I wake her up,"Suga asked

 "yeah," he was shaking her and she was waking up.

Suga: hey are you okay

Suni: yeah

Jimin:  you know you can tell us the truth 

Suni: I wanna go sit beside my parents 

Suga: what do you mean

Joy: after my parents left I've had nothing to live for everything was miserable at the orphanage. Now I see people who yell mean things at me and say why am I around them. Why be in a place where it's hard just to smile

Jimin:  so you would leave us

Joy: I wouldn't be missed. Everyone would happier the sun would shine brighter and no one would have to worry about me anymore 

Suga: you know I thought like that for a long time and the worst thing I ever did was keep it to myself. When we saw you at the orphanage you looked broken why was that

Joy: I worked more than the caretakers I only had one friend who taught me everything. Once she left my life went down . If you look on my back there is probably a big scar

Jimin: what happened 

Joy: the caretaker was mad because the downstairs was dirty and a guest got her in trouble. I was told to clean it a few minutes before the guest got there so the caretaker started beating me she ended up slamming me in the table and breaking out because of the force. I got in trouble with the head lady because my caretaker said I was hanging on the chandelier and fell and broke the table. I had to have stitches on my back and I had to stay in my room for 3 days with only a banana 

Jin : what in the world

Suga: then what happened 

Joy: then she started beating me often and saying that I am a worthless piece of shit and I should go to hell no wonder my parents died they didn't want to have an awful daughter like me I believed her so I started signing it was a way to release stress. One week i was crying loud so the caretaker held me against the wall strangling me until I was quiet that's when my breathing issues got worse. One day I held my breath hoping I would die but I just passed out. I wished for a long time that I would have just died that day. It would have made things easier 

Jimin :Dying makes nothing easier it makes everyone else's life harder. You were born for a purpose to live old and have people you love around you

Joy:(she starts breaking down) but appa i need rest i can't sleep they haunt me I want them to stop please tell them to stop. There loud and I can't ignore them ( she bows at Jimin's feet bawling her eyes out)

   I pick her up and starting rubbing her back. She was about to have a panic attack so I was trying to clam her down. It didn't work " Suga get her inhaler from the top drawer," he gave me it and I put it in her mouth. She was slowly calming down. I was trying to put her to sleep it took a while but she finally fell asleep. 

Suga: Oh my gosh she is worse than I was

Jin: I don't wanna tell the other members about this i feel like you guys know what your doing but the other members may not fully understand and take it out of hand

Suga: yeah and I want her to be open if she knows we are talking to others she isn't going to trust us

We were talking most of the day. We went over it a lot and we wanted to talk to her more just to see if we could get anything else from her. I put her in the crib because now she know where we keep the sharp stuff and she had cut herself quite a few times. I went to bed thinking about it and had a bit of trouble sleeping 

Okay so sorry for the long and kinda sad chapter. I have decided to do one more chapter before they leave for America. Have a goodnight or day BYE!!! Also word count (1327)