Look At Me

Chapter One

before this begins, before i open up to you, share my life with you, you should know some things about me. i, nico james anderson, am really not your typical teenage boy. i was diagnosed with a minor case of OCD when i was only 13, followed up with BPD, and a minor case of anxiety. my mom was scared when she found out her perfect little boy wasnt so perfect, so she went me away for a bit but.. we wont get into detail about that. its depressing and i for one hate depressing things. if you plan to stick along with me through my journey, youre a trooper. and im going to be extremely proud if you make it to the end.

the sun leaked through the crack between the curtains, landing perfectly on the desk. i was busy writing in my small, blue, leather journal i had gotten for christmas. it was only 6:30am, but i usually woke up this early anyways on school days, it was how my brain-clock had seemed to wire itself. i always started out my mornings the same. monday - friday. my would wake up, make my bed 3 times, slip on my house shoes, touch my doorknob 3 times, go into my private restroom that connected to my room and my room only, with no door — thank you aunt pearl — shower, get dressed, brush my teeth, and then write.

it was simple. i loved it. it brought me peace.

as soon as the clock struck 7:15 he was out the door with an apple in one hand, and car keys in the other. to silence my needs, id tap the steering wheel three times, hum three times, or recite the alaphabet three times.

again, simple.

the car ride to the high school wasnt too far from the apartment i lived in, maybe a 5 minute drive. 30 minutes if i wanted to walk, which i didnt. i pulled into the school parking lot, parked in the exact same corner i parked in every morning, tapped the wheel three times, and got out.

the air was cold, it was january in New York, so naturally, i was freezing. i pulled the yellow beanie over my head, hiding most of my extremely curly hair, shoved my hands in my pockets, and paced rather quickly to the front glass doors.

once inside, i removed my hands, flexing my already red fingers. i removed the beanie before staff seen me, and made my way to my locker. once opened, i removed my hoodie, and left off the white jean jacket i wore over it. i kept my backpack with me, though. always. it was safe to do so, and i loved feeling safe.

"youre a mess, nico anderson." a voice called from behind me. i turned, and there stood my best friend, jessica vix white. naturally, being the angsty teen she was, went by vix.

i grinned, embracing the girl in a hug, saying, "my little vixy bug hi im cold~!"

"but so so warm oh my god." her arms went inside my jacket, hugging my waist. "please never let me go you jolly green giant."

"never." i smiled. i was only 5'6. vix, however, stood at about 5' even. so everyone was tall to her. the embrace lasted for a little while longer, before she eventually let me go, stole my beanie, and began walking with me to our home room.

"did you have a good christmas?" vix asked with a smile as she slid into her seat. i sat behind her, setting my phone face down as i did so.

"i did," i returned her smile. "did you? whats you get?"

vix then went on about her things, and i pretended to listen. i loved her to death, had loved her since i met her at the age of 14, but her family had money, and she was never shy about talking about the expensive things she got. even if i did ask.

"so, what about you?" she finally finished. "whatd you get?"

"well..." i sat back in my seat, "a journal, a car finally, a new phone, some clothes, and that beanie youre wearing." i smiled at her, pretending it didnt drive me insane that her hair was where mine was, and that i honestly wanted to just throw it away now. "oh! and to see my parents."